Christoffersen Crew

Utah, HERE WE COME!

2011-07-25T19:31:00.000-06:00

Well... It's been CRAZY.

But a long story short? We are moving back to Utah! Bart got a job offer in SLC and he starts in 2 weeks... Wow. If any of you know of homes for rent with fenced in back yards that would be GREAT! Please let me know.

More to come...

We really are alive..

2011-06-25T22:07:00.000-06:00

I promise. We have been doing lots of fun things. We have been busy. By the end of the day the last thing I want to do is be on the computer. I love hanging out with my sweet girls and my hot hubby. And when the girls are in bed I do dishes, laundry and clean up dinner. :) But here are a few photos.

These are a few of the pics from Dinosaur Park with the girls and aunte E and aunt Katie! we had so much fun! And some from Red Butte Garden with Grandma Karen.

Life as a mom of two...

2011-03-30T15:35:00.001-06:00

Some days are hard. Some days are comical. Some days are lazy. Some days seem to repeat themselves. Some days are great. Some days are crazy. Some days are fun. Some days I don't get ready. Some days I don't even get dressed... But you know what? Some days I see little glimpses of heaven through my girls' eyes.

I live for the moments when Grace puts her soft, little arms around my neck and whispers into my ear, "I love my mommy." Or when I hear Lainey chattering to herself after a nap and feeling excited to be able to hold her again. I LOVE watching Lainey's eyes light up when I enter the room and having that feeling that she KNOWS I am her mommy. I love knowing that they just barely came from heaven and that they are teaching me more than I will EVER be able to teach them.

I love being "reminded" of my worth from them. There are days when I worry about my hair looking right, loosing weight or not feeling like I am good enough but when I look into their bright blue eyes I am reminded that they love me even with all of my many flaws. I am the one they want to tuck them in at night and that is all the assurance I need.

I love watching the gleam in Grace's eyes when Bart and I take her to try something new. She has that amazing innocence that children posses making them excited for the challenge. She doesn't fear that she won't be able to or that she will look silly... She is just excited to have a new experience in life. Like bowling... she LOVES it.

I love the way they make me laugh. The way that Grace melts my heart. Like the day she was SO ornery. She was naughty and I was loosing my patience. I finally sat down with her after time out and said, "Grace, why are you so sad today?" I will never forget her reply,"I am so sad, Mommy cuz I need you to HOLD me!" And I did. I held that sweet little girl until she didn't want to be held anymore.

I laugh at the way Lainey throws HUGE fits. If you take something away from her... WATCH OUT! She got a hold of a slice of apple Grace had been eating and when I took it away from her the neighbors probably thought she was injured. She can throw a mean tantrum... and she's only 6 months old :)

Grace can be naughty herself... Like just last week when she asked if she could put some lotion on in the bathroom and I told her no... But she kept asking and asking an asking. So I sent her to her room for a little time out and came back to find this.....

It was one of those moments where you are trying so hard not to laugh because you should be mad... but you give up and laugh and take pictures.

I could sit back for hours and watch Grace and Lainey play together. No one else in this world can make Lainey laugh like grace does. They are hysterical together. The simplest things get them going and they laugh and laugh and laugh. Like Grace running towards Lainey when she is in the highchair. For some reason that is the FUNNIEST thing in the world to them. I can't help but feel that they are such good friends already because it wasn't too long ago that they were friends in Heaven, talking about coming down to earth to begin their journey. I know they remember each other.

Simply put... I adore my girls. I love everything about them. I love being their mommy. And even though its not always rainbows and roses its worth every moment. They aren't going to want me to hold them forever. They will only be little for so long and I am determined to enjoy every second. Heavenly Father has blessed me and blessed me and continues to do so and for that I am SO thankful.

Families are forever... I know that for sure.

Grace Says...

2011-03-19T22:17:00.000-06:00

Grace makes us laugh so hard with some of the things she says. . . Here are a few for you to enjoy!

*We went out to dinner as a family and she got a cute little kiddy cup with Sprite. On the way home she says, "I can drink my Sprite in the tub?" I said, "No sweetheart." She says, "SILLY SPRITE!"

*Poor girl was constipated and I was trying to coach her trough it. After a few tries she yells, "COME ON POOP!!!"

*We took Grace bowling for the first time today and she didn't want mommy to help her roll the ball. After we were done and one the way home I said, "Do you just like Dad to help you bowl, Grace?" She says, "Ya". I said, "Why?" She says, "Cuz Daddy can and mommy can't because Daddy is nice but mommma is just shy."

*"Daddy has a big nose!"

*During Sacrament meeting she took the bread and while we were waiting for everyone else to take it she leans over and whispers, "Mom, I want the water now!" I said, "Well honey, we have to wait for them to bless it." She proceeds to fold her arms and I thought she was just being reverent... But then she leans over and whispers in my ear, "Heavenly Father, bless the water. Name of Jesus Christ, Amen."

*"Mom your breath stinks! You need a shower..."

TAGGED!

2011-03-11T15:08:00.000-07:00

Sorry... I have been so out of the online community the last month or so but I was tagged by my sweet friend Jenny! So here it goes!

1. If you have pets, do you see them as merely animals or are they members of your family?

Our little red bone coon hound "happy" is a member of the family for sure. We love her to death but she doesn't sleep inside on her own bed or anything....

2. If you could have a dream come true, what would it be?
For everyone around the world to have clean water to drink and food to fill their bellies.

3. What would you do with a billion dollars?
Travel, and help people all over the world have clean water and food to eat. . .

4. What helps to pull you out of a bad mood?
Bart's laugh :) And a good book.

5. What is your bedtime routine, with your kids?

Jammies, brush teeth, potty, read the Book of Mormon together, prayers, 3 songs, snuggle time, kisses and lights out! Whew... quite a routine.

6. If you are currently in a relationship, how did you meet your significant other?

BLIND DATE! I really didn't want to go but I am sure glad I did!!!!!

7. What kind of books do you read?

Right now Harry Potter. Love them!

8. How do you see yourself in 10 years?

Happy. Helping my girls with their homework and kissing Bart every morning before work.

9. What’s your fear?

That I won't try hard enough

10. Would you give up all junk food for the rest of your life for the opportunity to see outer space?

NO way...

11. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?

Get my girls out of bed and feed them...

12. If you could change one thing about your significant other, what would it be?

He wouldn't be Bart if I changed anything about him...

13. If you could pick a new name for yourself, what would it be?

princess consuela banana hammock... Just kidding I'm fine with my name.

14. If you had to choose between six months of sun or six months of rain, what would you choose?

This is a no brainer... SUN

15. If you could only eat one thing for the next 6 months, what would it be?

Fruit? I can think of lots of tasty things but I wouldn't want to eat them for 6 months straight..

16. What is the thing you enjoy about blogging the most?

Connecting and catching up with people. Keeping in touch with people that live far away.

17. Do you prefer salty or sweet foods?

Sweet for sure

18. What items are in your purse right now?

Oh dear. . . lip gloss, diapers, formula, wipes, gum, wallet, phone, tylenol you name it!

19. If you had to choose between vacationing at the beach or in the mountains where would you go?

This is a toughie... I cant decide! Both... A beach in the mountains :)

20. What do you watch on television that you know you shouldn’t?
Teen mom :) Drama, Drama, Drama

I tag, Erin, Bree and Tina... only if ya want to ;)

I feel so LIBERATED!

2011-02-08T13:44:00.000-07:00

I have always wanted to chop my hair super short but have never had the courage to do so.... UNTIL NOW! I am so happy with the result and feel so free!

11 Step Program for those thinking of having kids

2011-01-15T20:09:00.000-07:00

Am I a copy cat??? Yes, Yes I am... I saw this on a friends blog, and I thought it was so funny. Seriously I laughed until I cried!

11 Step Program for those thinking of having kids
Lesson 1

1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2

Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...

1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.

Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3

A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...

1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)

2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.

3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.

4. Set the alarm for 3AM.

5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.

6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.

7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.

8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.

9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)

Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4

Can you stand the mess children make? T o find out...

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.

2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.

3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.

4. Then rub them on the clean walls.

5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.

6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5

Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.

1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.

2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.

Time allowed for this - all morning.

Lesson 6

Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.

1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.

Leave it there.

2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.

3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.

4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 7

Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 8

1. Hollow out a melon.

2. Make a small hole in the side.

3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.

4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.

5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.

6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.

Lesson 9

Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.

Lesson 10

Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 11

Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

Grace Says...

2011-01-10T13:24:00.000-07:00

I got this idea from a friends blog (Thanks Crystal!) and thought it would be a great way to remember the funny things Grace says.

*Grace looking at a Christmas book in the other room by herself... That's not my dragon. (flips the page) THAT'S NOT MY DRAGON! (flips the page) THAT IS MY DRAGON!

*I am busy making lunch and Grace is talking to me from her high chair.
Me: Grace, I don't know what you are saying, honey.
Grace: LOOK AT ME, MAMA! LOOK AT ME!

*"My Lainey is taking a nap."

*I need some JUICE, I said!

*Thanks mom for puttin on my shoes!

*Thanks mom for playing kitchen!

* Me (playing kitchen with her): Grace should we make some hot chocolate!?
Grace: NO MOM! I only make hot chocolate with Daddy!

* Grace: Mom, tell me a competition story.
Me: A competition story?! Whats that?
Grace: YES momma, a competition story. (So I made one up. About dragons, knights and princesses :)

*We were on a long drive in the car when Grace announced that she had to go potty. We quickly stopped at the closest place (a shopko) and I took her in. We go in the largest stall and as I am lining the toilet with protective tissue paper Grace proceeds to look under the divider into the next stall. I turn around and to my horror hear the elderly lady in the next stall say, "EXCUSE ME!" I say... "Grace, NO honey! We don't do that!" My face is bright red... Good thing the elderly lady couldn't see me as Grace says, "That is stinky, MOMMA! as she is pointing to the stall with the old lady....

*Driving in the car, again... Lainey is crying. Grace says, in a very high pitched voice, "Lainey, no cry! It's ok. Look at your toy cuz it's cute! Be happy!"

*Grace still pushes on my belly and says, "Where did the baby go?"

*One of her new favorite things is for me to put her hair in "five pony tails!" So.. I joined in on the fun.

Things I say or think on a daily basis....

2010-12-28T20:47:00.000-07:00

*How can two little girls produce so much POOP!?

*Grace! Don't step on your sister! Please be gentle! You are squeezing her a little too hard! Don't try to pick her up please!

*Ugh... really? Throw up on my clean shirt AGAIN...no more clean shirts...Where is a clean shirt.

*Why is Caillou's head so large? AND bald???

*Ahhhh, I heart nap time.

*I am the LUCKIEST mommy in the whole world. I love my girls more than anything in this world!

Halloween and Birthdays!

2010-10-31T21:59:00.000-06:00

We love this time of year! It's just one big party! We took Grace trick or treating on Saturday, the 30th. It is so much fun now that she is old enough to understand! The first few doors we knocked on she tried going inside their house... She thought it was completely insane and weird to knock on someones door without going inside. It was really funny!

She says "Trick or Treat" in her very cute little voice and "Thank you!" Then immediately looks at us and says, "Go get more candy?" She had a blast!

She dressed up as a cute little fairy. Bart's mom made her cute costume! THANK YOU KAREN! Lainey was a Joey... a baby Kangaroo!

Sunday is Bart's birthday and we made a really yummy dinner, cupcakes and spent time at home together. Monday is Grace's birthday and we are looking forward to letting her open some presents! Its just a huge party at our house right now!

We are all doing really well. Lainey is growing so fast. I can't believe she is already 6 weeks old. She is getting some chubby cheeks and I LOVE THEM! Grace loves her little sister and is ALWAYS asking to hold her or kiss her. One of her favorite things to do is "share her toys..."

We are loving life and just trying to keep up with 2 little ones... Some days I feel like I am drowning in laundry but the love we have in our home is overwhelming. We LOVE THOSE GIRLS! We are all happy, healthy and doing well. We are so blessed and we thank our Father in Heaven each day that we are sealed as a family for time and all eternity!

Birth Story Part II

2010-10-09T12:17:00.001-06:00

Just a warning... I hold nothing back in retelling my labor and delivery. If you are queasy, dislike blood or talk of women parts this might not be the story for you!

I can remember a lot of detail up until this point in my labor. After this point it is a little blurry. When I think back on what I can now define as active labor and transition it is very hard to describe...I call it my dark happy place. I will try my hardest to force this amazing experience into the boundaries of words but just know that I could never properly give a full account of my labor and delivery and do it justice....

I remember my contractions coming harder and more often and it surprised me how much they hurt. I mean, I knew they were going to hurt, but I thought it would be a more gradual increase in pain, not all of a sudden. The first few hard contractions I had I was sitting up in a chair. Bart helped me over to the bed and I lay down trying to get into a comfortable position so that I could focus on relaxing my body and letting it do what it was made to do. I remember Bart stroking my hair and my back while saying soothing things in my ear, just as we had practiced in our class, but it wasn't helping. In fact it was distracting me for some reason. I felt horrible as I swatted his hand away and shook my head. I remember thinking that I didn't mean to be so harsh but my body had a mind of its own!!! Bart was amazing though and didn't take it personally. He went and got me a cold wash cloth and that was heaven. By this time I was really struggling through contractions and I vaguely remember my midwifes coming in to check on me.

Remember how I said earlier that I call this part of my labor my dark happy place? This is why... During the hardest part of labor I couldn't open my eyes. It took all of my focus to get through the contractions, I wanted as little sensory input as possible! Which is why I couldn't have anyone touching me. The music we were listening to stayed on the entire labor but I tuned it out completely.

I don't know how long it had been but Bart talked me into getting up to use the bathroom. In our Bradley class we learned that if your bladder is full then it can make labor more intense and it is the husbands job to make you get up and go about every hour or so. I waddled to the bathroom in between the next contraction with Bart at my side and sat there through a few more contractions. The next thing I knew I was walking out of the bathroom in a different outfit than when I had gone in. I had been so consumed with the contractions that I don't really remember changing into my "birthing gown" but apparently Bart had done that too. Isn't he amazing?

A VERY strong contraction hit me right before we got back to the bed so I knelt on all fours on the floor and tried rocking my pelvis back and fourth. I specifically remember the pain doubling in strength as I was doing this and I started to cry out... saying that I had to move, I had to move! But I felt like my body couldn't during the contraction. The midwife took my hand and told me to relax and breathe. Bart breathed with me through this contraction. This helped me so much because I wasn't taking the deep breaths I needed. At this point Connie and Christa (my midwifes) told me I could get in the tub if I wanted to.

This was a huge surprise for me... We had been told earlier by our midwifes that they wouldn't allow me in the tub until I was close to transition ( 9 - 10cm dialated) because if you get in the hot, soothing water too soon it can slow down your labor. This meant that I was getting close! WOW! I almost didn't believe it.

I got in the tub right as another contraction was starting. THE TUB WAS HEAVEN. Now I know why they call it the midiwfe's epidural. This is not to say that the pain lessened at all, in fact it got worse but it was easier to deal with for some reason. As soon as I got in the tub something changed in me. I didn't feel like I had control over my body anymore. Thinking was no longer needed, rather, instinct took over and my body just KNEW what to do. It was while I was in the tub that I started moaning through each contraction. I remember thinking that I wasn't getting a break in between contractions and it was pissing me off! I needed a break! But they kept coming stronger and closer than ever. I was a little embarrassed. . . I was moaning very loud and I knew everyone in a mile radius could probably hear me. Not to mention they were still doing their prenatal visits down the hall for other women who were probably a little freaked out by the noises coming from the back room! But moaning was the only way I could let go of each breath.

The pain of labor is indescribable. I remember when I was little and broke my arm it hurt A LOT but if I moved it into the perfect position the pain would cease a little bit. When I was riding my bike as a little girl and fell off and hit my head on a brick mail box and split my head open... well, I passed out because it hurt so much so don't really remember much of that. But labor pain was so different. No matter what position you were in IT HURT, no matter how loud you were IT HURT, no matter what i did IT HURT... so I had to let go. I couldn't pass out even though the pain WAS that intense, instead I was completely aware of everything happening with my body. I had let go, and give into the pain and remember that it was pain with a purpose. I had to allow my body to work WITH the pain instead of fight it. My baby was coming into this world because of this pain!

One thing that I had never read in any birth story that surprised me was that I could actually, literally feel the baby moving down. I could actually feel her head moving toward the birth canal with every hard contraction. It was the coolest thing I had ever experienced, pain and all. It gave me hope that she would be here soon... and I was right. It wasn't long after my moaning started and I felt little Lainey moving down inside of me that I started pushing. I have heard many others say things like, "I felt like I was pooping a bowling ball and JUST HAD TO PUSH" but it was different for me... Honestly there wasn't any processing or thinking going on at all. My body just did it and I was along for the ride.

I almost felt like two separate beings... My body, which was taking complete control of itself, knowing exactly what to do and pushing harder than I ever knew possible and my spirit taking it all in and seeing through spiritual eyes this baby come into the world... Words can't even describe. It was almost an out of body experience... except I could still feel everything. The pain that came with pushing was so much different than labor pain... stinging, burning and a release of amazing pressure are the best words I could use to describe it.

I remember my body pushing for what felt like forever without taking a breath, but the amazing thing was I didn't even feel like I needed air. With the second push Lainey's head was born. Pushing didn't hurt more than laboring, because I was able to do something about the pain (pushing) rather than just enduring it. My midwife had me get up on all fours to push for the 3rd time and her body came out... That was it... 3 gigantic pushes and she was here! Lainey Kay Christoffersen was born at 2:03 pm. . . Just 4 and 1/2 hours after my water broke. I was only in very hard, intense labor for about 2 and 1/2 hours. Lainey weighed 7lbs 15oz and was 20 inches long.

Light poured in as I was finally able to open my eyes and see that precious baby girl. I got to hold her with my amazing husband at my side and we watched as she took her very first breath. I cried and laughed and kept saying, "Hi baby girl!" over and over again. I looked into the eyes of my husband and without words said, "look what we created." It was amazing. I got to hold her on my chest until the cord stopped pulsing and Bart cut it. My midwifes asked me if I felt like the placenta was close to being born... apparently you have the urge to push again, but I didn't. After a few minutes of basking in the spirit that came with the birth of this little angel I got out of the tub and onto the bed so that they could monitor my blood loss until the placenta was born.

I was holding Lainey and nursing her blissfully unaware of the chaos around me... It wasn't until my midwife gave me some medication to help me deliver the placenta that I realized they were getting worried. The feeling in the room began to change as more and more time passed without the placenta showing any signs of coming out. I started hearing them say things like, "Four cups of blood lost so far" and, "Its been too long." I started asking questions. And the best thing about my midwifes is that they are completely honest.

They began calmly explaining to me that we might have to do an emergency transport to the hospital to have my placenta manually removed. I was angry. Not at anyone. Just at the situation. I wanted to be alone with my husband and my new baby. I wanted to take pictures and make the happy phone calls to family and friends telling them the good news. I wanted to get up and walk around, take a shower, nurse my brand new baby and snuggle with my husband and eat dinner. I wanted my family to bring Grace to the birthing center to meet her new baby sister and watch that amazing relationship of sisters begin. This is how I had imagined it would be after the labor and delivery and I was being robbed of that because of my stupid placenta!

They asked me to push really hard a few times to see if the placenta would come before the called EMS. I remember pushing really hard one time and feeling what I thought was the placenta come out... But I knew it wasn't the placenta that had come out when I saw the look on their faces. It was all blood. A lot of blood. I started feeling really weird and they took my baby away from me so that they could take better care of me. I remember saying, "I feel weird." And right after the words left my mouth I could feel myself going... I just wanted to fall asleep. I felt so dizzy, I remember my hearing going... I could see everyone hustling around me and talking but I couldn't hear anything. They quickly put my head down and propped my legs up with pillows. They held my arm down on the bed as they started an IV. I remember thinking, stay awake Paige! Stay awake! even though I had a very strong desire to let go and fall asleep.

The ambulance had been called and was on its way. Bart came over and took my hand and the look of worry on his face killed me... I knew he felt helpless and I wanted to comfort him. I wanted to say that everything would be ok... but I didn't know if it was going to be ok. I remember Connie coming over to the bedside. I looked up at her and said, "Could I die from this?" She looked me straight in the eye and said, "Paige, you are NOT going to die. We are going to get you taken care of." I knew she believed I wasn't going to die but I also knew that she hadn't answered my question. And the answer to my question was Yes, I COULD die from this. My blood pressure was dropping... and dropping fast. I can honestly say that at no point during this was I afraid of dying. I was angry and I was very worried about Bart and my girls and my family. I was nervous but not afraid. I felt calm for some reason. Maybe because I knew that non of this was in my hands. I KNEW through it all that the Lord was in control and all I could do was have faith. I knew in that moment that the Lord was aware of our situation.

I remember thinking that if I died I would be just fine. But I wasn't ready! I wasn't ready to leave my husband and my girls.... I wanted to be their mommy for a LONG time. I wanted to raise them and see them grow. I hadn't even had a chance to get to know Lainey. What was she going to be like? I wasn't ready to say goodbye to Grace. Would she think I had abandoned her? I hadn't hugged her long enough that morning... Or kissed her big cheeks enough times. In fact, I had looked into those big, beautiful, blue eyes earlier that morning and told her I was going to be back. I had to keep that promise. I wasn't ready to leave my husband a widower. I wanted to hear him laugh again, I wanted to hold his hand as we went on more long walks, I wanted to wake up to him for many more years. I wanted him to hold me in his arms again while we watched a movie at home. I just wasn't ready to leave that all behind! NOT YET!

My parents arrived at the Birth Center right before the ambulance showed up. I was SO thankful that they were there. The paramedics came in the room and I specifically remember looking up into that man's face as he took my blood pressure and his face dropped. So did my heart when I heard the numbers, "Sixty over thrity and I can't feel a pulse." Yikes.... We were so blessed that my parents were there. This way Bart was able to go with me in the ambulance to the hospital while my parents stayed behind with our sweet new baby girl so they could do a few tests to make sure she was completely healthy. They put an oxygen mask over my mouth and nose and got me over to their gurney. They wheeled me outside and up into the ambulance and we were lights and sirens all the way to the hospital in Idaho Falls. In the ambulance they started a second IV. I remember wishing Bart could ride in the back with me and hold my hand. We arrived at the hospital VERY quickly and headed straight up to Labor and Delivery.

The paramedics briefed the nursing staff and the head nurse came up to me and said, "The on call doc is on his way in. His name is Dr. Oldroyd." Oh no I thought.... that was my previous OBGYN who did NOT support me wanting a natural water birth. I was nervous to see him again and was worried about the treatment I might receive. Before I go any further I will say that he was VERY kind to us and never once judged us for choosing to have a natural birth outside of the hospital even though he disagreed. We were very grateful to him and his staff for working quickly and effectively.

Dr. Oldroyd must have immediately known how dire the situation was becasue the second he walked into the room he put on a glove and without ANY warning stuck his hand as far up me as he could and started trying to rip the placenta out with his bare hand. I was WRITHING and screaming in pain... This hurt worse than labor and deliver! I was crying and thrashing around about ready to call him a really bad name when my AMAZING husband finally cut in and said, "Can you please stop! Can you give her something for the pain before you proceed?!" My knight in shining armor had come to rescue again... The doctor said, "Yes, this isn't going to work, she is in too much pain, lets prep the OR."

Before I was taken to the OR the doctor explained to me that he would try to just scrape the placenta out but if he couldn't get it out that way they would have to do a hysterectomy. . . I could loose my uterus. And honestly, at this point I didn't even care. My mind was shouting, "TAKE IT, do whatever you have to do! Just let me stay here with my husband and girls."It was then that I asked if Bart could give me a blessing before they took me... My mom and dad hadn't gotten to the hospital yet so I just bluntly asked if there was a priesthood holder in the room that could help Bart... My anesthesiologist kindly stepped up and helped Bart give me an amazing blessing with oil the nurse had gotten for us. I knew that not everyone in the room was LDS but I was so humbled as they ALL stopped what they were doing to bow their head, quietly listen to the blessing and respect my wish. The blessing was amazing and the spirit in the room was palpable.

The mask was put on my face to put me under and the thought popped into my head that Al, Bart's dad was watching over me. . . the next think I knew I was waking up in the recovery room. The first thing I did was feel my lower abdomen for stitches of any kind... I didn't feel any. I asked the nurse standing by my bed if everything had gone ok. "Yes," she said, "they got the placenta out and your uterus is still in tact." Wow, I was alive, my baby girl was healthy and I still had my uterus after all of this. I knew how blessed I was and said a silent prayer of thanks. How remarkable.

I was in the recovery room for a while as they started giving me 4 units of blood and 2 units of platelets. I had been told that my entire family was waiting for me on the Labor and Delivery floor and I couldn't wait to get down there and see them. Finally, the nurse wheeled me down and the tears flowed as I looked into my husbands face. In that moment I knew I loved him 100 times more than I did the day I married him. One by one I saw my mom, dad, Erin, Andrew, Alex, Katie and my girls. I can't even tell you how grateful I was. I cried as Grace came and sat on my lap and held Lainey for the first time. Those were very tender moments for me. I hugged and kissed Bart again and again. SO grateful for a husband who loves me and our little family. So grateful for a husband who holds the priesthood. SO GRATEFUL for family.

This may all sound super mushy, lovey dovey, cheesey whatever.... But you aren't grateful enough for what you have until it is almost taken from you...

That night after everyone left and our hospital room got quiet Bart came over to my bedside and held my hand and we said a prayer together, thanking our Heavenly Father for blessing our family. We had been through a very scary experience but the outcome couldn't have been better... I was alive, our baby was healthy and as a bonus I still had my uterus. And best of all.... We loved each other more than ever and our testimonies of the gospel and of our Savior had grown 10 fold. We were beyond blessed and beyond grateful.

Thank you to all of those who prayed for our family! We are very appreciative!

So many people have asked me if I would do it again... Natural child birth... and the answer is YES. Without a doubt. There were three things I hoped to accomplish by doing it natural. One, to lessen my chance of having post partum depression again, two, to not tear as badly as I had with Grace and three, to have more success with breastfeeding....

I haven't had ANY postpartum depression at all! Any amount of pain is worth not having post partum depression. I only needed 2 stitches and after a week any pain from that was gone! I am not even sore down there! REMARKABLE! and I am proud to say that breastfeeding is going GREAT! Although, it wasn't easy. The first week was the hardest but thanks to the support of my husband, family and midwifes we are successfully breastfeeding!!! And it is getting easy.... I never thought I'd say that! This entire experience has been amazing. I am so thankful that everything turned out the way it did. I hope to have our third child naturally, in a hospital, just in case I have a retained placenta again... But lets not even think about that for a few years :)

Thank you for letting me share my birth story. It has been very therapeutic for me to write it all down and share it.

Birth Story Part I

2010-10-08T08:51:00.000-06:00

It was the beginning of September and my due date was only a week away! Sept 13, 2010 was the magical day when our second daughter was due. I was at the zoo with some friends from my neighborhood, telling them that I was dialated to 3 cm and 80% effaced and was sure I wouldn't make it to my due date. A mother of 5 that was with us told me that castor oil helped her go into labor almost every pregnancy once she was dialated to 3cm. Once Bart got home that night I talked to him about it and asked him what he thought. We decided to wait and talk to my midwife and ask her for her opinion. I called her the next day and she told me the risks, benefits, how to use it and told me it was up to us whether to use it or not.

I got so excited. We went and bought some castor oil that night. I did a bunch of laundry, cleaned up the house, cut up the watermelon that was sitting on my counter and made sure that I had everything I needed in my birth bag. I made sure to get lots of sleep that night so that if the castor oil put me into labor I would be well rested. The next day, after breakfast I took the castor oil as I was instructed. Hours and hours went by without even a small side effect from the castor oil... I was really disappointed.

The next week Bart and I went out on a date for some much needed alone time before the baby came. During dinner I broke down into tears. My due date had come and gone and I felt like I had failed. I knew it was ridiculous to feel that way because there was nothing I could do to get her here faster but I couldn't help but feel that way. I got what felt like a million calls or texts everyday from people I knew cared about me asking, "Is she here yet?" or "WHEN IS THAT BABY COMING!" or "Go and walk 10 miles, eat spicy food, have lots of sex, do lunges, etc etc etc" and I was sick of hearing it... I was taking it personally and I knew it, so for a while I didn't answer my phone, text anyone back or get on facebook. I was so ready for her to be here and I knew everyone else was too but I didn't need the discouragement.

(Let me just say that the best thing you can do for a overdue pregnant woman is to tell her she is doing a great job, that her body will go into labor when the baby is ready and to take care of herself and not to worry. Oh and tell her she is beautiful...My husband told me that everyday and it makes a world of difference!)

It was while Bart and I were at dinner, as I was crying and he was lovingly comforting me that I had the feeling to just give it another week without ANY kind of intervention and THEN think about trying other things to help my body go into labor. After all, studies show that there is no harm to the fetus to be overdue until about 42 weeks. Just one more week. I could do it. I had done this for 40 weeks and knew that even though it was hard I could do it for another week. I felt more confident, strong and thanks to my loving husband, was reminded why I wanted to have a natural labor in the first place. I trusted my body to do what God had created it to do... naturally. "She will come when she is ready," was the last thought in my mind before I fell asleep that night...

It was Monday morning, Sept 20th, around 9:30am. Grace and I were sitting on the floor in her room singing songs and reading books. As I went to get up off of the floor (which is quite a task for a woman who is 41 weeks pregnant!) I heard and felt this weird POP. It almost sounded like my back popped but I knew that wasn't the case because a pressure was released as a TON of fluid came pouring down my legs... "Uh...um... ok... wow" were the first words that came out of my mouth. I was very surprised!!! I hurried into the bathroom and sweet Grace was blissfully unaware of what was going on. She was such a good girl and played by herself as I made the appropriate phone calls, first to Bart, then to the midwifes and then to my mom. In those first few moments after my water broke I had a million thoughts go through my mind. I was excited, nervous, anxious, at peace and thrilled all at the same time. I was going to meet my second daughter very soon!!! We got the bags in the car, dropped Grace off at the neighbors house and headed to the birthing center.

Bart and I couldn't stop smiling the whole way there. We were thrilled to finally be in labor! I remember thinking I was so glad that I gave my body a full week to go into labor alone... it was exactly one week past my due date. Lainey just needed some extra time in the oven. I may never know why, but I do believe that timing is very important. Even though I don't know why, I believe that she needed that extra week. Maybe for instruction from Grandpa Al... who knows?

We get to the birthing center around 11am and the birthing room is all set up for us! Music playing, lights dimmed, tub full... I was not having very strong contractions yet so they just check my fluid to make sure it is clear and got a set of vital signs. My midwife, Connie, suggested that we get some lunch and settle in and maybe go on a walk to get things moving along. So, while I am getting things unpacked, Bart ran to subway to get us some lunch. As I sat there alone in that birthing room I felt so peaceful. I had an AMAZING team of midwifes that were going to be helping me reach my goal of natural childbirth. I trusted them and felt VERY confident in their knowledge, skills,abilities and in their entire practice. I kept thinking about Bart and how amazing he is as a husband, father and best friend. I felt so blessed that I was able to have him by my side through this entire experience. We took a Bradley class for 13 weeks and I felt very prepared and educated. I felt like I knew as best as I could, what to expect about natural child birth. I felt like I had read all the material, been to all the classes, practiced all of the relaxation techniques, ate healthy, exercised and the only thing left to do was put it all into practice and have this baby! I felt comfort knowing that Grace was in great hands with great neighbors and that my parents were on their way from Utah. The plan was to have my mom at the birth with Bart and me.

Bart returned to the birthing center and we ate lunch together and talked. He set up our ipod so that we could listen to the list of songs I had prepared for labor. We got the camera out and took a few last pictures of my massive tummy and a few pictures of our awesome room! During this time I was having some strong contractions and they were becoming more regular. I thought for sure we had several hours of labor ahead of us so I tried not to focus on them too much. But only a few contractions later I specifically remember Bart telling me to relax my face along with the rest of my body. I told him I can try and relax my body but its too hard to relax my face! It was around this time I had to really focus through my contractions and I felt like they were really close together!

I can remember a lot of detail up until this point in my labor. After this point it is a little blurry.When I think back on what I can now define as active labor and transition it is very hard to describe...I call it my dark happy place. I will try my hardest to force this amazing experience into the boundaries of words but just know that I could never properly give a full account of my labor and delivery and do it justice.... PART II coming soon!

Lainey Kay

2010-09-27T16:15:00.000-06:00

Our sweet angel has been with us for a week... Wow... A week has passed already!? Sept 20th at 2:03pm Lainey was born and weighed 7 lbs 15 oz and is 20 in long. I am planning on writing my birth story in detail on this blog but I am not ready to re-live the scary parts yet... I've sat down a few times this week to write it all down and it is too hard right now.... Its still so fresh and I get so emotional. But I will soon...

I will say this, Birthing naturally was such an amazing experience. It is unreal, surreal, amazing, painful, spiritual and scary all at the same time. The few hours after the birth were very scary for us and I am so blessed to be here with my sweet little family. I have never loved my husband more than I love him today. My love for him grew 100 fold over night. He never left my side and was there to use his priesthood power when I needed a blessing. He is my rock. We have been so very blessed through this experience and the spirit that Lainey has brought into our home is remarkable. I am so thankful for Grace and her love for he r baby sister. My midwifes are beyond amazing and I am SO grateful for them and all they have done for our family...

. . .

2010-08-27T11:07:00.000-06:00

There isn't much to blog about right now... I'm just big and huge and trying to stay out of the heat :) I am ready for this baby to come. Mother nature keeps teasing me. Honestly, I don't know what going into labor naturally feels like. I was induced with Grace... So this is all new to me.

I try to just ignore the Braxton Hicks contractions that come pretty regularly in the evenings because they don't really hurt. But then I start getting excited when they wake me up in the middle of the night because they are really strong. But by morning. . .NOTHING. So I am just waiting.

On Monday I had my midwife check me and I was 40% effaced and dialated to 2cm. So at least things are on the right track. My body is doing what it is supposed to . . . but I could be dialated to 2cm for weeks....

Yesterday was kind of a sad day for me. I had this emotion hit me like a brick wall when I thought about this being the last few days or weeks that I will have alone with Grace. I love being her mommy, teaching her things, spending time with her and watching her grow. . . I know I will always do these things but it will be different when my attention is split between two little angels instead of just one. So we had a mommy daughter day yesterday. I took her to the park and she played on the slide and the swings. We had a picnic and played some more. Then later, after dinner we went out for ice cream. I think I needed it more than she did. I hope with all my heart, every day, that she knows how much I love her. That I would do ANYTHING for her. I think she knows.... I hope she knows... Because it is true. I love that girl with all that I am . . . and I think I am ready for my heart to double in size so that I can love another one just the same. So come on out Lainey! I'm ready!

Counting my blessings...

2010-08-18T22:21:00.000-06:00

It is hard to stay positive when you are so pregnant... I am tired, achy, feel horrible that I can't run and play with Grace like I want to but I am trying to see things positively. I only have a few weeks left! I will be 37 weeks on Monday... I resist the urge to pray that she comes earlier than Sept 13th because I want her to have all the time she needs to be healthy and strong. I like to think that Grandpa Christoffersen is up there giving her some good tips and advice and heaven knows I'd never want to cut that short. I want them to spend lots of time together before she comes to this earth.

I won't lie... I complain my fair share ( mostly to Bart or my mom). But I know I am blessed. I keep thinking of a thought that popped into my mind a few months ago. . . This is an abbreviated version but you'll get the idea... We came to earth to get a body (among other things) right? Heavenly Father does his part in creating our spirits and how amazing is it that I get to help him give that precious spirit a body?! It started with two tiny little cells and I get to loan her my body for 9 months so that those cells can grow, divide and develop into a body. . . WOW. As tiny as it may be it is fully functioning with all the organs, bones and flesh she will need for her entire life. What an honor and privilege. I cant wait to meet her. . .

United States Birth Statistics

2010-08-03T20:33:00.000-06:00

Compiled by Marsden Wagner, MD, Consultant for World Health Organization. Reprinted in "Baby Catcher" by Peggy Vincent with permission of Dr. Marsden Wagner, April 2001.

1.     Percent of countries providing universal prenatal care that have lower infant mortality rates than the US: 100%

2.     Percent of US births attended by midwifes: 4%

3.     Percent of European births attended by midwifes: 75%

4.     Number of European countries (Great Britain, France, Germany, Netherlands, Belgium, Denmark, Sweden, Norway and Finland) with higher perinatal mortality rates that the US: 0

5.     Average cost of midwife-attended birth in the US: $1,200

6.     Average cost of physician-attended birth in the US: $4,200

7.     Health care cost savings if midwifery care were utilized for 75% of US births: $8.5 billion/year.

8.     Health care cost savings by bringing US cesarean section rate into compliance with WHO recommendations: $1.5 billion/ year.

9.     Health care cost savings by extending midwifery care and demedicalizing births in the US: $13 - 20 billion/year.

Random Ramblings...

2010-07-21T17:14:00.000-06:00

I'm so glad I'm not her, or her, or her... but rather I am me. I am unique. My thoughts are no one else's but my own. I am the only one who REALLY knows who I am on the inside, what my thoughts and feelings are... What my deepest fears, hopes, wishes and dreams are. Unless I decide to share them with you. But even then... How is it possible for me to express to you in words what a feeling feels like? But I try...

But that is what is great about being me... They are mine and mine alone and it is my choice to share or not... In the beginning it was scary to share but now it is easy.

I share a piece of me with you and you share yourself with me. That is what makes us one. Because we don't share those deep things with anyone else but each other. Isn't that fascinating to think about? Well to me it is. That is what makes us love each other more and more. Because you know my weird, quirky, deep thoughts and philosophies and even if you disagree you love me just the same... or more because of them. And I know yours....

It wasn't always this way. We used to be two completely separate people. It is weird to think I spent so many years not even knowing you existed. I would share bits of myself with friends or family or people I cared for... but, it was broken up... the things I shared. In different pieces. But now that we have created a life together I share most of them with you. We are still two different people but our lives are so intricate with one another... we have a home together, we work together, we cry and laugh together, we figure out the hard things together, we have fun together, we have created flesh and bone together... so it is like we are one. And that is really an awesome thing.

I very much enjoy the friends that you and I have. And to be honest there are things I like to talk to girls about and you like to talk to boys about and that is ok. We need other people in our lives but I am certainly grateful I have you. Because as cliche as it is you are a piece of who I am now... and with out you I would be half of a person... maybe not really because I will always be me... but because I have shared so much of who I am with you we have grown together. There are parts of you that are just you and parts of me that are just me but somewhere in the middle you and I intertwine. And you know what? I like it. Even more than that... I like knowing we have that forever... Even if you are not physically here with me we will always be together. We promised that to eachother and it makes me smile. I love you.

The soul attracts that which it secretly harbors; that which it loves, and also that which it fears. It reaches the height of its cherished aspirations. It falls to the level of its unchastened desires - and circumstances are the means by which the soul receives its own.

James Allen (1864 - 1912)

32 Weeks Pregnant

2010-07-19T15:29:00.000-06:00

Wow... Time has flown by! I am 32 weeks along and the appointment today went great. I am measuring 35 weeks (my uterus is a little ahead of itself) and my blood pressure was good. No swelling. The baby's heart beat was fantastic. Grace is so cute when we go see the midwife. They let her put a stethescope in her ears and she listens to my tummy and when they push on my tummy to feel where the baby is she does the same. She is a little midwife in the making! She's so cute.

She always blows my mind. She is so smart and catches on so fast! She knows lots of her colors! Its taken a long time to teach her but she knows purple, red, pink, blue, green and black... Sometimes she gets yellow and orange but we are still working on those. She loves counting, although it usually goes like this... one, two, tee go! one, two, tee, go!... I've discovered that she has an obsession with stickers. Ya, they are kind of a waste of money but it is worth the hour that it keeps her entertained. We'll go outside in the shade on the quilt and she will stick stickers on me, the blanket, the grass, her coloring book etc. SHE LOVES THEM. (of course she prefers the pink and purple ones...)

Bart is the same awesome Bart that he always is :) He got a new job within the company he already works for and is really excited about it! He started today! He used to be in sales and was on the phone ALL DAY. . . now he is a purchaser. He will be working with vendors to purchase the ingredients for the products that Melaleuca makes. I think it will be a really good fit for him. He is super excited! He is training for a full marathon in Pocatello on Sept 4th... (Lets hope the baby doesn't decide to come that day!) He is working really hard!

I am just a big, huge pregnant lady that tries to keep up with a very busy 20 month old and all of the house work. I actually feel pretty good... just hot and LARGE. Poor Grace doesn't get to play outside during the heat of the day... We wait until evening or go out first thing in the morning. I haven't really felt uncomfortable until the last few days. Its really annoying to have a stomach that is the size of a marble when you are hungry all of the time and trying to feed two. I have been really sick with a sinus infection for the past 2 weeks. My midwifes gave me a few herbal things I could try and after about 4 days I started feeling much better! I thought I was pretty much over it.. and then BAM! the sinus infection came back with a vengeance! I felt so horrible... Finally Friday morning after crying for a few hours because my head hurt so bad I called the my midwife and she told me to go to the community care and see a doc. BLESS HIM! He gave me a shot of steroids that helped my sinus' stop swelling so bad and a Zpack. I am feeling MUCH better. whew!

We are doing well and looking forward to Lainey being here! I am getting a little anxious to be done but only 8 weeks left! Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...

I'll post pictures soon.

29 weeks pregnant

2010-06-28T08:50:00.000-06:00

Thankful...

2010-06-24T21:21:00.001-06:00

So guess what? MY BUTT IS PREGNANT AGAIN. Yep, it got good and pregnant when I was pregnant with Grace and it's done it again! Ah.... I could complain. But I have just come to a conclusion: My body is really good at plumping up and being pregnant.

I have been watching what I eat and exercising and still, not only does my stomach look pregnant but so does my butt, arms, legs cheeks etc. My body is just really good at making sure the baby has everything it needs and lots in store too. :) I can't complain. I am so grateful to be pregnant, to be healthy, and up and moving around. I guess I will just have to work extra hard at getting the "mommy goo" off after Lainey is here and my body has healed.

I am almost 29 weeks. When I saw the midwifes on Monday they told me that my uterus was measuring 2 weeks larger than I am. But that is really common with second babies because your tummy has already stretched out once! Everything is on track and the baby is doing well. And guess what, I AM SO GRATEFUL.

So I am officially 100% off my meds. AHHHH sigh of relief. It was a bumpy road for a few weeks. I cried a lot, I felt some anxiety, some guilt, some fear, some anger but even though I had some really low lows, I ALSO had some REALLY HIGH HIGHS... Let me explain.

For me, being on meds did help with the depressive feelings and the anxiety because it covered them up. I didn't feel much. Along with the negative feelings it also covered up the happy and positive feelings. Being off the meds I have been blessed to remember how DEEP I can feel again. I was on a morning walk just the other day, all by myself (thanks for watching Grace, mom and Katie) and I noticed how green the grass and trees were, I saw the birds, butterflies and bugs going about their day. And I FELT happy. I started thinking about all of the good things in life and there were many. And I FELT thankful. Before, on the meds, I could make a list of all of the things that made me happy or things I was grateful for but now, off the meds, I don't just "know" it in my mind. I FEEL IT. I FEEL grateful, I FEEL happy, I FEEL love more deeply than I have for the last year and a half. And guess what... IT FEELS GOOD. Oh so good.

Sure, I have to work harder at being patient and warding off negative and destructive feelings about myself but it is so worth FEELING again. I am so thankful. I can officially say that I am a baby again :) I used to cry when a "tender" story was told or a song or book touched me and I do again. I am back to the old me ... And I like it. Life is good. And guess what? I love my husband and little girl more than ever... They are the best.

Changes

2010-06-03T13:07:00.000-06:00

Honestly, not a whole lot has changed in our lives. Bart continues to run run run and is enjoying it. Grace continues to grow like a weed and learns new things everyday. My stomach is bigger now at 25 weeks than it was a month before I was due with Grace... but at least we are both healthy.

These are a few of my FAVORITE things Grace does... If we forget to say prayers before we eat she always reminds us :) She says "Thanks-a-mamma" "HELP-PEASE" "Sckuse you" (excuse you)she uses this both to excuse us and herself, today at snack time she came up to me and said "gold-shishhy's?" She says lots of cute things. It is so much fun to watch her learn and grow.

As for me, I am just living the dream :) I am huge and it is hard to believe I am not due til Sept 13th. I have mentioned before that I was on medication after Grace was born for postpartum depression... Well I am proud to say that a year and a half later I am finally COMPLETELY OFF! Wow, it has been has been something else...

During the time Grace was born we were dealing with a lot in our lives. Bart was working full time, and going to school full time so that he could graduate a few weeks after Grace was born. I had been working full time up until I was put on bed rest for preclampsia. Our labor and delivery experience was as we had expected... but I will be honest. ..The weeks that came after Grace was born was something neither of us were prepared for. Physically I was exhausted, sore all over from forcepts, tearing, stitches, breastfeeding, stomach ulcers etc. . . Emotionally I was fine for about the first week until everything started catching up to me. Breastfeeding was harder than I expected it to be, the lack of sleep took its toll, Bart being at work all day and then at school at night was really hard and I started feeling guilty for not absolutely LOVING this new phase in my life.

I felt guilt for disliking breastfeeding... I felt guilt for not being able to have dinner on the table for Bart after a very long day... I felt guilt for not loving being a stay at home mom right away.. I felt guilt for almost everything. It was around this time I started feeling like an unfit mother for this tiny angel girl that came from heaven to our family. I felt like she deserved better than anything I could give her and it was hard.

Exactly a month after Grace was born I was getting ready to lay down and have a nap when I got the call that changed our lives forever. Bart was calling to tell me the devastating news about Al. He had died in a horrible accident. My mind refused to wrap itself around this idea that he could be gone so fast... That he wouldn't be there for Grace's blessing, or to give us advice anymore, or to teach our babies how to golf... That whole week following the accident is a blur... A cold, wintery, emotional blur. It was so hard.

About two weeks after that we got another phone call that would change our lives. Bart got a job offer in Idaho Falls. How could we possibly make that decision at this point in our lives? It was the only offer we'd gotten after applying in several different places and it was an exciting prospect that would help Bart support our family so I could stay at home. But how could we leave family at a time like this when we all needed each other more than ever? How could we leave Bart's mom after she has just lost the love of her life? We prayed long and hard and got the answer that Idaho Falls was where we needed to be. So we packed up our little apartment we had just renovated and took our tiny little 2 month old girl to a place that was foreign to all of us. It was just the 3 of us in this little town... We knew NO one.

It was hard. I can honestly say I am grateful I had medication to help me get through this hard time... But I wish with all my heart that my doctor would have given me more options. I wish he would have told me that I could see a counselor that would help me learn new coping mechanisms to DEAL with these new emotions I was having, or told me about natural things that can help rather than just covering them up with a medication... It has been hard weaning off the medication. I have had to deal with old emotions from the past that I never really coped/dealt with. Of course there were the emotional affects from weaning but physical as well... Tiredness, dizziness, hunger, headaches etc.

I had an appointment with my midwifes this week and I was pretty emotional. I gained quite a bit of weight this month. I was disappointed in myself. Up until this month I had been so careful and my weight gain had been very under control. I can not tell you how SWEET and understanding they were. I told them about me taking 7 weeks to wean of the medication and the emotional/physical symptoms I was trying to deal with and they spent AN HOUR talking with me about different things I could to to make it an easier and healthier transition. Not once did they say YOU NEED TO GO BACK ON MEDS Because you can't handle it. no... Instead they empowered ME and let ME know I could do this. They gave me different ideas and tools I could use to stay off the meds and allow my body to get back to normal by itself. They told me to call their cell phone at any time if I needed to talk. I can't tell you how thankful I was that they were positive and hopeful, they helped me to see that I had it inside of myself to do this and not to give up. . . I love them.

I have to say here that Bart is amazing, as well. He has been so supportive in helping me reach my goals and dealing with the weepiness that has accompanied that. He is such an amazing husband, always working so hard to support our family so I can stay home and raise our baby. He is the most loving father and spends one on one time each night with Grace, letting her know with his actions that she is SO important to him. I couldn't have done all of this without him. He is an amazing example to me. I love him with my whole heart.

Our journey continues and I am learning new ways to deal with baby blues so that I will be prepared when Lainey comes just in case I need to be... Knowledge is power. And I am SO grateful to have the opportunity to learn.

Thanks for listening.

GOOD JOB BART!

2010-05-20T11:23:00.000-06:00

Bart ran the Ogden Half marathon last week and did an AMAZING job. It was so much fun to wake up extra early and drive him up to Eden park and see all of the people at the starting line! He ran it in 1hour 57 min. HE ROCKED IT! My goal is to do it next year :)

Mmmm...

2010-04-30T14:36:00.000-06:00

My midwifes are super hard core about diet and exercise! You know... Lots of green leafy veggies, lots of protein, fruits, whole grains etc

There are studies that show that by eating healthy and exercising through pregnancy you can prevent many issues that come up in pregnancy INCLUDING preclampsia... Which was a scary thing we had to deal with towards the end of my pregnancy with Grace. It is quite interesting because both of the OBGYN's I have had previously told me that preclampsia is just a freak thing that happens to some people during pregnancy and that there is nothing you can do about it... RIGHT... I am so glad I switched to my midwifes! I love them

One thing they make you do is keep a food diary and each day you have to count up how many grams of protein you've had for the day. To have a really healthy pregnancy you need 80-100g of protein a DAY! That is a lot. They also don't like you to eat a ton of red meat... But I have found that it is surprisingly easy to get enough protein without eating too much meat... Here are some of my favorites!

*Low fat Cottage Cheese with any fruit: In only 1/2 cup of cottage cheese there is 17g of protein!

*Brown Cow Greek Yogurt (all natural): I get this at Sam's club and it is AMAZING... NO fat but 13g of protein in one of their prepackaged cups. It is thick and creamy and amazing.

*Adam's !00% natural Peanut Butter: The ingredients? Peanuts and a dash of salt... No hydrogenated oils, preservatives or sugar... I LOVE IT. 8g protein in 2 TBSP

*Nuts, seeds, trail mixes are all awesome sources of protein and healthy fats

I found these babies at Sam's Club... they are simply roasted in cocoa powder... No sugar or anything and they taste fantastic! These have 6g protein in 1oz. YUM

*I struggle getting enough of the green leafy stuff in sometimes until one of my midwifes suggested this... Green smoothies. Sounds weird right? Well I thought so too but decided to give it a try... The first one I tried I used 1 cup of low fat milk, 1 cup (well packed) spinach leaves, 1/2 banana, and a variety of frozen berries. IT WAS DELICIOUS! No lie, you can't even taste the spinach. I've done a variety of shakes now just trying new things... adding yogurt or tofu (which you can't taste either, just adds protein and makes it creamy). I've even added flax seed (good source of fiber and omega 3 fatty acids which helps with healthy cholesterol levels). You can even add some whey protein powder which comes in chocolate, vanilla, strawberry etc. GIVE IT A TRY! (one warning, if you add blue berries with your spinach in the smoothie it will turn a weird brownish color... still tastes good though!)

* They also recommend you get lots of healthy grains. NO white flour, refined sugars etc... The bread we buy is AMAZING. Its Harper's Homemade Bran Bread. It is 80 calories per slice, 5g of fiber and 4g of protein! Its remarkable. I haven't been able to find another brand that can beat the fiber and protein content. Let me know if you do!

IT'S A GIRL!

2010-04-27T19:53:00.001-06:00

Baby Lainey will be here in September! We can't wait to meet her. We had an ultrasound today and we are so thankful everything looks healthy and strong thus far! Grace is so cute... She will come up and pat my tummy and kiss it and say "Baby"... She will be a fun big sister...

Family Fun

2010-04-26T08:12:00.000-06:00

This last few weeks had been eventful and busy! My family came up a few weekends ago and helped us start our first garden and build a fire pit. I ALWAYS love spending time with all of them! THANK YOU SO MUCH!

This weekend we headed up to Utah for our friend Mikey and Lindsay's wedding. . . Which was beautiful! It was fun to see so many friends and catch up. It was fun to eat cheese cake and dance with Bart and take a moment to remember our wedding day and all of the many reasons we love each other.

We spent time with Bart's mommy and sisters. It was lots of fun seeing them and watching them play with Gracie poo. The girls went and got pedicures while Bart and Grace took a nap. It was very relaxing! Saturday night we hung out with TOM AND TALITHA! It was a much needed visit... Its been far too long. Thank you for having us over! WE miss you guys.

Sunday we went up to Ogden to spend a few hours with my family before heading back to Idaho. We took a walk to a neighbors house so that Grace could see the horses. She is IN LOVE with horses... She even got to ride one :)

We are also excited for this week... We find out what gender the baby is tomorrow AND Erin and Jeffy are moving back to Utah this weekend!!! I can't wait to have them back!

I am so blessed and loved. I have been so thankful this week for all of the amazing blessings that I have. I have a wonderful husband who I LOVE SO MUCH. He takes care of our family and he is such a good daddy. I have an AMAZING daughter that I love more and more every single day. We are so blessed to be pregnant and adding to our family. We have very loving and supportive families on both sides and remarkable friends... We are so blessed. Not to mention that we have the Gospel in our lives... What a difference that makes. I know Heavenly Father is aware of every detail of our life and that he loves and cares about us.

Well... It's Official!

2010-03-29T21:35:00.000-06:00

After lots of research and prayer we have made a HUGE decision... Allow me to tell you a story...

Chelsi, an amazing friend for many years invited me to watch the documentary "The Business of Being Born". Before seeing the documentary I was quite pleased with the labor and delivery experience I had in the hospital with Grace.

I was induced with Pitosin 4 days before my actual due date, had my water broken when I was dilated to about a 4 and had an epidural about 10 contractions later. I was in labor for 7 hours total which is quite lucky. I pushed for a total of 2 and 1/2 hours before the doctor came in and told me it was time for a C section because I'd been pushing too long and the baby was oxygen deficiant... OR I could opt to try the forceps first. So of course I opted for forceps!!! The forceps worked thank goodness but unfortunately due to the forceps I ripped in 3 different places in the vagina...Once Grace was born at 1:56am they took her away from me and checked her out while the doctor spent a good 30 - 40 minutes stitching me up. (It took me AT LEAST 6 weeks to recover from those vaginal tears). I wasn't able to try breast feeding until around 5 am and was totally fine with this at the time because I didn't know better...I struggled hard core with breastfeeding. I only breast fed for 1 month. I also struggled with postpartum depression. It was HORRIBLE. I felt insane, guilty, depressed, anxious, alone, sad...etc. Immediately upon explaining this to my doctor I was put on medication and I was grateful. But I am disappointed now that they didn't talk to me or give me other options.

My doctor at the time made it sound like vaginal ripping, postpartum depression and breastfeeding issues were ALL issues that couldn't be prevented and just had to be dealt with. And being ignorant and all trusting in this doctor I believed him. . .

In fact I was so pleased with my birthing experience (not knowing it could be better) NO ONE, I repeat NO ONE could have convinced me to try having a baby without an epidural... But after watching the documentary I feel differently...

I will admit I was a little skeptical as i started watching the documentary but very intrigued. I "knew" going into it that it couldn't and wouldn't change my mind about having pain meds during birth... Oh was I surprised. After watching the documentary I was more EDUCATED on my options about birth than ever before... One thing they say in the documentary is that we research many cars before we purchase one or many tv's even the perfect SHOES before we purchase them.. BUT WE DO NOT EVEN THINK TO RESEARCH OUR OPTIONS ABOUT BIRTH... because the society we live in leads us to believe there isn't any other option than having a baby in the hospital.

I learned in this documentary that vaginal/perineum tearing, postpartum depression and breastfeeding issues can all be DRASTICALLY reduced if you know you options and choose wisely. When a woman has a baby naturally without induction drugs (pitosin) or pain meds such as an epidural, your brain/ body naturally produce REMARKABLE hormones and endorphins that not only allow you to cope and deal with the pain of labor but that also causes an amazing bonding experience with the mother and baby. Research has shown that the levels of endorphins in women who have just given birth naturally with out pain medication is 5 times that of a distance runner experiencing a "runners high."

Although it is very hard for me to admit, I did not have a huge spiritual/emotional connection with Grace immediately... or even for the first six weeks of her life. Thankfully I DO have that now but I feel that I paid a high price for the epidural I had. I think that the reason I had such a hard time breast feeding is because I didn't have that emotional bond with her from the beginning and because I wasn't allowed to try breastfeeding in the first hour of her life. Also, a lot of the postpartum depression that I felt was guilt that I didn't LOVE being a mom right from the beginning. I feel that if I would have had a natural birth this could have been different.

I'm not saying that being a new mom is EVER easy.I'm not saying that by having an all natural labor will make everything better or easier... but I AM willing to give my body a chance to do what Heavenly Father created it to do... I am willing to endure hours of hard labor in order to give me and my baby a better chance of bonding, to give myself a better chance of not having to deal with the hell of postpartum depression and to give my baby the blessing of breast feeding.

I know that this is the right decision for me. I do not think it is for everyone and I certainly do not think any woman is making an incorrect decision by having pain medication... Everyone is different and everyone needs to make their own decisions. My intention of this post is to allow other women to be further educated on their options as I have been, and to be able to make a more informed decision. I have been blessed with this knowledge because a wonderful friend simply told me about it. It is my hope to share this eye opening experience with anyone willing to listen.

Bart and I have decided to have this second baby in a Birthing Center here in Idaho Falls naturally... We start taking birthing classes next week and are contemplating water birth.

If you are interested please do some research of your own. Also, check out the documentary "The Business of Being Born" Listed below are some helpful websites.

Websites

ChildbirthConnection.org

BirthingNaturally.net

NaturalChildbirth.org

Thebusinessofbeingborn.com

MothersNaturally.org

MotherFriendly.org

GivingBirthNaturally.com

The snow is melting...

2010-03-01T13:20:00.000-07:00

And I couldn't be happier about it :) Here are just a few pictures of the Gracie girl. She is getting SO BIG! Her hair is now long enough in back to do piggy tails :) When it is down it looks a bit like a mullet... AWESOME. She has so much energy and I wish I could steal some of it from her. I am trying my hardest to keep up with her but I know she gets bored with me (especially on the days I feel so yucky). She is the sweetest little girl. She says prayers with us every night and sings "popcorn popping". Her version is more like this "Pop cop cop cop" Its really cute. Each day I wonder where my little baby has gone. She gets more and more independent each day! We love her so much!

Not much is new in our lives. I am still pregnant and very grateful for that (even with all the discomfort and nausea it brings). Bart is still working hard and we are dreaming and making plans for summer time. Garden, yard work, baby swimming pool in the back yard... ahhh can't wait to spend more time out doors! I want to give a shout out to my amazing family. BOTH families. I love my family so so much and am so grateful for their love and support. I love Bart's family too... which I consider to be my own. They are wonderful. LOVE YOU ALL.

It's not SPRING yet....

2010-02-18T14:25:00.000-07:00

BUT I HAVE HOPE THAT IT IS COMING!!!

I have felt really yucky pretty much 24-7 for the last month or so. I struggle with the winter blues so it doesn't help that I felt like death warmed over and I'm pretty much stuck in doors all day. But today was a glimmer of hope :)

Grace and I went to Bart's work to have lunch with him. It was nice to get out and to have a good reason to do my make up and hair... not to mention wear something other than PJ pants. It was a PERFECT day to get out and about. The sun is shining there are actually lots of birds chirping and it is almost 40 degrees today (that is dang good for IF)!

When Grace and I finally got home we just played in the front yard on a small strip of grass where the snow has melted. She LOVES being outside as much as I do and I can't wait for summer to be here and for the snow to melt. Being pregnant is a hard thing for me... There are some women who adore being pregnant and enjoy every moment. I can't say that I do. It's not that I am ungrateful, because I am so grateful to be pregnant and to not have had any major complications yet... I just don't feel well. At all.

But today I was reminded that Father in Heaven loves me, wants me to be happy and hopeful and he cares deeply about me. I am so thankful for these little moments. I'm thankful to be reminded. I love the little girl taking a nap in the other room more than words could EVER express. I love Bart who works SO hard for us so that I can stay home. I know he'd do anything for our little family and I love, love, love him. I love the jelly bean growing inside of me. I love my family. I am so blessed.

Update :)

2010-02-03T12:22:00.000-07:00

Well life here in Idaho is good. We are all healthy and doing pretty well. Being pregnant isn't fun for me but I am grateful to be having another babes. I had an ultrasound today and saw the little jelly bean. :) There is only one baby in there and it measures 8 weeks and 3 days. ahhhh.... long ways to go but everything looked great.

Grace is huge and she is so much fun. It is fun to see her learn new things and talk, talk, talk. Her new obsession is trying to climb up onto the couch by herself and she gets on, then off, then on, then off, then back on again. She loves her baby doll and recently she has been in love with her tutu.

Great Grandma Shaffer got her this super cute ballerina doll that sits on her dresser and she adores it. Grace will get her tutu, have me put it on her and wind the doll up and then dance to the music. IT IS ADORABLE. She is great. I feel so grateful to have such a fun little family.

Bart is AMAZING and I am so thankful that he helps out so much when I am really sick. I have been super sick the last few weeks and he has done dishes, made dinner, and done laundry off and on. THANK YOU MY LOVE! I couldn't do it without you.

Also, my brother Andrew is engaged! We love you Keri and can't wait!!!!

Gracie Poo

2010-01-14T08:43:00.000-07:00

What a sweet girl she is. Bart and I adore her and couldn't love her more. She is saying so many words and runs around the house like a crazy girl! She says baby, good girl, I did it, Night Night, Papa (for grandpa), Nana (for grandma), Enn ( for Erin), KaKa (for Katie, Anny (for Andy) and Ax (for Alex). She hasn't mastered Kc and JEsse yet though... We're still working on it! She loves her baby doll Grandma Christoffersen gave her for Christmas and will hold her and say shhhh, shhhh, shhh. SO CUTE

She also loves her Pony Grandma and Grandpa Beecher gave her and will say Clippety Clop :) She loves the ball tosser Erin and Jeffy gave her and will push the button and dance away while the music plays.

She loves babies... which is a good thing since she'll be a big sister in September. We love her so much!

Christmas was..

2009-12-29T21:10:00.000-07:00

Wonderful!!! I haven't uploaded pictures yet but I will very soon... On another note, I may need to move up a diaper size for Grace. There was poop EVERYWHERE today. It was horrible.

Her Pants..

Shirt..

Socks..

Undershirt...

MY Pants..

jacket...

Shirt..

YUCK... About a half hour later we were all cleaned up. Ahhh the JOys of motherhood!!!!

Going Private...

2009-12-07T12:03:00.000-07:00

Hey all... I know I have been HORRIBLE and keeping this updated... SORRY. I am going private so leave your email address if you'd like an invite! Thanks...

Just a quick update on what's been happening... Gracie babe turned 1! Its insane to think a year has passed. She is such a blessing to us and makes us smile and laugh every day! We had family up for a birthday party and had good food, presents, Grace demolishing a cake, and lots of laughs. :)

Also, Thanksgiving was awesome! I haven't uploaded the pictures from that yet but I will very soon. We had thanksgiving with Bart's side and it was AMAZING. Thanks JoAnn and Jerryfor having us over to your amazing home.

Thanksgiving week was a hard one... It was a time of remembering and thinking about last year. It was the last week that AL was with us on this earth. December 1st was the 1 year mark for loosing an amzing father-in law, husband, dad, son... He is SO missed. I am so blessed I was able to know him. Love you AL...

Random..

2009-10-24T21:41:00.000-06:00

Pictures and updates.

Grace has 4 teeth now, almost 6... she is almost a year old... and she is a very stubborn, independent little girl! She is so much fun. We laugh and play so much everyday and she is so stinkin' smart! The other day someone said, "Is that a car, Grace?" and automatically she said "Broom, Broom!" She gives kisses on demand (open mouth of course), knows what the pig says and when I say, "Grace where is your daddy?" she says, "DAAAAADDDD." :) So funny.

She also refuses to eat when I feed her unless she has a spoon of her own. Then, I give her a bite and she attempts to take a bite with her spoon. She also has a very strong opinion about getting diaper changes and putting clothing on. She adores bath time and knows that when she gets out she gets to brush her teeth... she loves that too :) She is REALLY good at folding her arms when it is prayer time and sits PRETTY quiet for most of the prayer. She claps for herself when she accomplishes something (my favorite) and whenever Zoey walks into the room, Grace says, "HI" In the cutest high pitch voice. She is walking around all of the furniture and has attempted taking a few steps of her own. She bonks her head frequently and that is hard to watch but I guess she has to learn how to walk someday, right? She is in love with her snuggle bunny and her binky and wont sleep without them both.

It is so amazing how much they change in just a year... They learn and grow so much and it is the best thing in the world to sit back and watch, (and teach). I love her more than words will ever say... Here are some pictures. :)

A sneak peek of our house :)

We also had some family pictures taken by Kim Wilson. She is AMAZING! I highly recommend her. You can find information about her photography at :

http://www.kimberliewilson.blogspot.com/

THANK YOU KIM!

IT's been a while...

2009-10-24T21:37:00.001-06:00

Andrew is home and here are some pictures! He is such a good kid. I love you bud! It was such a great weekend, being home with family...

Chop, Chop, CHOP it off! :)

2009-09-23T12:35:00.001-06:00

Hey Bart, do you remember when...

2009-09-14T20:05:00.001-06:00

Hey Barty Babe... Do you remember that day I met you? We were visiting Mike, he had just gotten his back surgery and I was nervous to meet you at the gas station... I didn't want to go on a blind date at all but figured I should at least see what you were all about :)

I got to the gas station before you did and sat in my car studying my Anatomy book. I had just gotten off work and was still in my scrubs :) You pulled up and immediately I was nervous! I didn't stop thinking about you after that day. You were SO darn handsome...

Do you remember the day all your friends were taking dates to the canyon for a camp fire and we had been dating for a while? You told them we couldn't but it was kind of a lie... You took me to the park and we swung on the swings (my favorite :) You told me you didn't want to date anyone else and I knew I loved you that night... I knew it. I had this peace in my heart. I knew you were the worthy priesthood holder I wanted to love forever.

Do you remember when you took me to that really nice restaurant in Park City and proposed to me? You gave me BEAUTIFUL roses and pulled that little box out and I knew... You couldn't even get the words out of your mouth because I kept kissing you, preventing any words from escaping... I probably kissed you a million times that night.. I was so happy that day. I remember looking at that ring on my finger constantly for the next few months and remembering all the reasons I loved you :)

Remember that beautiful December when we were married for time and eternity? It was amazing. Our families were there and lots of people we love and we had a glimps of the eternities that day. It was so peaceful then too, knowing we were a forever family.

Remember when you knew it was time to add to our family and you told me? ...and I got pregnant SO FAST. It only took a month. I remember promising you I wouldn't take 5 million pregnancy tests too soon but I couldn't help it. I took them when you were at work and I called you and we cried when it was positive. We were so excited!

Remember that pregnancy Bart? It was hard... I was sick a lot but we grew so close through that time. Remember how big I got.. WOW. I was huge. I remember you making me mac-n-cheese because that's all that sounded good. You made that for me millions of times, I swear. I appreciated you so much! I needed you and you stood by my side, even when I was really grouchy!

Do you remember your birthday last year? I tried to make it special but I ended up taking center stage that night when the doctor induced me because the preclampsia was bad.. My blood pressure was high and we were thrilled to be having our baby girl a few days early..

I remember you NEVER leaving my side. Through the 10 contractions I had that hurt like hell, through the epidural that was heaven, and pushing for 2 and 1/2 hours.. you were there for me. I remember you being there and we cried together when they put that tiny little girl in my arms and she screamed her lungs out :) we cried. We were SO happy she was here safe, so happy. I was thrilled she had a mommy AND a daddy to look at in those first few seconds she was here on earth. It was a taste of what her life would be like... We promised her in those first few moments that WE, together would be there for her. Mommy and daddy :)

I remember being in the hospital and hurting SO MUCH from all the stitches.. I didn't change a single diaper in the hospital. You did it all :) I remember when the postpartum depression hit me so hard and you stood by my side and held me during the hard times. It was your strong assurance and priesthood blessings that got me through the really tough times.

You took my hand and moved our little family up to Idaho so that you could provide for us. It was scary but we did it. Together. We have a life of our own and it is wonderful, happy, quirky and funny :) we have our hard times, we get sick of each other now and again but we love each other at the end of EVERY SINGLE day...

I love you more today than ever and I will continue to love you my whole life. I hope we grow old and saggy together... I love you, honey. So much. FOREVER...

ONLY 20 MORE DAYS...

2009-09-13T20:00:00.000-06:00

Until this stud gets home!!!

I can't believe it was almost 2 years ago that we went out to breakfast at IHOP and went to the MTC to drop Andy off. It is insane what has happened in the last 2 years. We are trilled that he has served such an honorable mission and that he has been and will be such an example to us.

I can't wait for him to meet my sweet angel baby girl! She will love her uncle Andy!

Please fly home safely! LOVE YOU BROTHER BEAR!

This is what happens when .....

2009-09-04T08:31:00.000-06:00

...YOU HAVE A VERY MOBILE 10 Month old :)

Messy, Messy, Messy! She loves playing with old papers!!!
Playing with a ring pretending to talk on the phone :)
Watching Baby Einstein. Her FAVORITE! Gracie Goo I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

I cried today...

2009-08-31T11:47:00.000-06:00

I cried today... I don't cry very often. The meds make it that way. The post partum depression I had when Grace was born was pretty bad, then we lost Al to a horrible car accident and then moved to a unfamiliar place that was freezing cold and barren of any loved ones. I stayed at home with no car, no friends, no family and a tiny new baby... I needed those meds and I know that.

However, there are times when I felt angry that I had to have them. I felt like it was a crutch, like I was weak and there were days I didn't feel anything because they made me numb almost... Things that would normally have touched me deeply or made me shed a tear didn't anymore. It was frustrating....

Today howeverI had a glimps. A glimps into eternity maybe? A glimps into the things that really matter in this life. My good friend Rachel introduced me to this blog...

nieniedialogues.blogspot.com

This dear, sweet lady is married with 4 children, blogging and living life and then she and her husband were in a HORRIFIC plane accident and were burned horribly... Its been a year now since the accident and she is deeply inspiring. She blogs almost every day and talks about the simple things in life like kneeling down to pray and how hard that is now... I hope you will go and read her blog. She has moved me.

I realized that I am selfish. I whine and complain about how hard it is to lose the baby weight... I hate posting pictures of myself on the blog for fear that others will judge me and because I don't like the way I look. But that thinking is changing. Sweet stephanie (nieniedialogues) fears posting pictures of herself now because she doesn't know the woman in the mirror anymore. I do have weight to lose but I have a healthy body that works. That weight allowed me to produce and AMAZING little girl that I love so much. I feel so grateful, humbled and happy.

I know that happiness is something you create with what you are given. I know that I can choose to be happy. And how could I not be happy when I have these two...

2009-08-23T21:30:00.000-06:00

Here are a whole bunch of random pictures! Grace in the froggy pool at Grandma Christoffersen's ...

Sweet Aunt Jesse!
Aunt KC!

Aunt Katie!

Grace with Great Grandpa
And Great Grandma
Chubba Cheeks!
We look so different!

Cute teeth!
Grace with Grandma Beecher
At the zoo with Isaac and Ainsley!
Eating Bananas!

I need some ideas...

2009-08-10T12:09:00.000-06:00

So... Being a stay at home mom is such a blessing. I really do thank Heavenly Father each day for a very hard working husband that makes it possible for me to do such. Grace and I have a pretty good schedule down but lately I have found that she is getting bored more and more often. I think she is bored with her toys. She throws a fit after being on a walk in the stroller for 10 min or so and I think we both have a bit of cabin fever.

Bart and I only have one car... We bought a beautiful new car a couple years ago but it was totaled in a car wreck this last December. So Grace and I are usually stuck at home most days while Bart has the car at work. I am getting more and more worried about being stuck at home without a car in the Winter months to come... It is SO cold up here in Idaho and I need some fun activity ideas that Grace and I can do inside. She is 9 months old right now... I'd love all the ideas I can get!!!

Thank you!

24th of July

2009-08-03T09:46:00.000-06:00

We went up to Lava with my family and my Aunt and her family. We had a lot of fun just telling stories, riding 4 wheelers, playing card games and eating good food. Grandpa took Grace on her first 4 wheeler ride and she LOVED it. Here are some pictures. It was a great weekend. We missed Erin and Jeffy and Andrew but we will all be together soon enough!!!!! Can't wait.

A special moment...

2009-07-30T16:03:00.000-06:00

I just wanted to share a really awesome moment Grace and I had together today....

She really enjoys music so I was just sitting on the couch holding her with some music on. She dances and claps her hands... It is really cute. In the middle of a song, she just stops dancing, sits really still and looks right at a big picture of Al (Bart's dad) that we have in our living room. She is just staring at it with this contemplative look on her face. I said, "Grace, that's Grandpa." She smiled. I said it a few more times, "Grace, that is Grandpa Al." She is still looking right at it. At this point I had goosebumps.

I said, "Do you see Grandpa in your dreams?" She smiled again. By now I am teary eyed. She is still staring at his picture. The next thing I said was, "say hi to Grandpa for us, okay." And she starts waving at his picture. Note that she never waves when you just tell her to. She only waves if someone shows her first, if someone is waving at her.

I felt the spirit really strong today letting me know that Al is watching over his family. I honestly believe Gracie knows her Grandpa. Life is hard, it has been so hard without Al. We miss him terribly but it is moments like this that remind us that we ARE an eternal family if we keep our covenants, that there is a life after this and that our Father in Heaven loves us so much. We love you Al.

Hawaii

2009-07-06T12:38:00.000-06:00

This all happened before the 4th of July... I just haven't blogged about any of it yet!

Bart and I went to Hawaii and it was BEAUTIFUL. It was very relaxing and enjoyable but we missed our baby girl so much! We were there for a week with Bart's mom, sisters and his aunt. It was great spending time with them. We stayed on the big island and snorkeled, swam with Manta rays, hung out by the pool and went hiking. Here are some pictures...

Wow... I am not the best blogger :)

2009-07-06T12:18:00.000-06:00

HAPPY 4th OF JULY!

So much has happened since I last blogged... It will probably take me a while to catch up but I'll start with the most recent. The 4th of July!!! Grace looked so darn cute in her 4th of July outfit that Rachel made for her. THANKS RACHEL! Erin made her the cutest bow and it topped it all off. THANKS E-DAWG!

We woke up early and Bart and Jeremy rode there bikes down to where the parade was going to be to save places and then Rachel and I brought the kids down later and they loved it. Grace was dancing to the music and was having a good time. Until the very end... She got hot, hungry, tired and fussy! So we left a bit early and let her eat and have a nap.

Then we went with Jeremy and Rachel to their family BBQ, We would have been alone of the 4th if it wasn't for them! They are like our family here in IF. We appreciate it! I made a really fun jello flag cake for the BBQ and that was fun. I swam with Grace in the little kiddy pool and we just hung out and had a great time. She loves swimming, she is like a little fishy!

Grace is getting so big. I love her so much. She waves hello and goodbye, has 2 teeth, plays patty cake, rolls all over the room and has just started getting up on her knees! It wont be long before she is crawling! We are going to have to re-arrange our entire living room before she conquers that! Here are some pictures...

It was a great 4th. We didn't make it to the fireworks this year :( I was sad but Grace was worn out and was ready for bed extra early. I can't blame the poor girl. She isn't used to that much action in a day!

I appreciate all of our troops and those who have sacrificed for our freedom and our country. I sit in awe as I contemplate some of the things people have given up to fight for our freedom. THANK YOU.

Our little swimmer!

2009-05-29T15:46:00.000-06:00

We got Grace this little pool for 5 bucks at Target and today was her first experience in it! She couldn't get enough of it. She cried when I took her out of it! She played in there for like a half hour or so and just splashed around and played with her toys. The water was a little chilly so I was worried she would hate it... But the pictures will show you I had nothing to worry about!

Update from the Idaho Spuds!

2009-05-18T16:57:00.000-06:00

Wow, it has been a while since I last posted... It is FINALLY warm in IDAHO!!! YAY! It was around 80 degrees today. It was BEAUTIFUL. Bart and I invested in some bikes and a bike trailer and have loved going out. Grace loves riding in it and usually falls right asleep. Here are some pictures of her in it...

Mothers day was awesome. It is super crazy that I am a mommy, still. Bart got me some flowers to put in pots outside and I was very excited about that. Kc, Bart's sister was going to school down in St. George last semester and was taking a class from Dell Parsons (amazing artist) and asked him if he would paint a picture of Al and Karen (my amazing in-laws) for Karen for mothers day, as it would be very special to her this year due to the the accident in December... It was AMAZING. He did a phenominal job and here are some pictures of that...

On mothers day we were able to talk to my brother Andrew in Russia! He is such a good missionary and such a good example to the entire family. We love him so much! He will be home in September or October! So exciting!

We are doing well here in Idaho. Grace is growing everyday and she is so much fun. I can't even imagine life without her! She is babbling and jibbering... she is a genius at the art of SCREAMING... and that can drive me a little crazy. She loves playing with the toothbrushes when I am getting ready, she rolls both ways, has started getting up on her knees when she is doing tummy time, and she cant get enough of her Daddy when he gets home from work! She loves playing with him!

Well, that is our update for now....

Easter and snow ....

2009-04-02T14:25:00.000-06:00

Well Easter is coming and I am excited... I do hope that it will be sunny and bright but at the rate we're going here in Idaho we may have snow! :) I am just grateful that we are so blessed. I am grateful for Easter and for the opportunity to have a good reminder of why we are really here. I am SO eternally grateful for a Savior who died for us and who loves each of us so much. I am so grateful for the resurrection and for the opportunity to be with the ones we love forever. We miss Al so much and think of him each and every day. I know that he is hard at work and that he is happy where he is. I honestly believe he watches over his family and that he can help us from the other side. We love you Al.

Bart, Grace and I are doing really well. Bart is really loving the new job and I am enjoying mine as well! I love that I only work 4 days per month. I am so blessed to be able to stay home with Grace everyday. She is such an amazing little girl. Here are some pictures of her. She is getting so big!!! She has been ravenously hungry recently so I started her on a tiny bit of solid food. I give her just a little each morning. She LOVES it. And does really well :) It is fun to see her learn new things.

Idaho is treating us really well. We have met lots of friends here and Bart and I have been trying to be healthier people. I had post partum depression pretty bad and we had heard that eating healthy and exercising can make a world of difference in that regard. So Bart and I signed up at the gym where we work and have tried to make a schedule so we can both be working out. I am so proud of Bart. He makes it to the gym pretty much everyday. He either goes to work early or goes during lunch. This week I went to the gym before Bart had to work and on Tuesday I tried the Piyo class. Its a mix of pilates and yoga and it was AWESOME! I loved it and my abs were more sore than they have ever been... Then thursday morning I tried the turbo kick class which is kick boxing and it was lots of fun. I still have a long ways to go but I feel pretty good.

We are happy here and are growing closer as a family and growing as individuals. We miss our families so much and are excited to see them each chance we get!

The new job...

2009-03-12T16:23:00.000-06:00

So, as you all know, Bart got a great job at Melaleuca here in Idaho Falls. While he was training he found out about some employee's that work the "hot shot" position at Melaleuca. He told me about it and I became very interested... They simply take phone calls and place orders in the system for customers 4 days out of the month from 6pm - 10pm. I felt like it would be a great opportunity to make a few extra bucks that we could put right into savings and it would be a good chance for me to get out of the house. Don't get me wrong... I LOVE being able to stay at home with Gracie and be a mom... But if any of you have kids you know that it is nice to get out of the house and have adult conversation every once in a while.

So I applied for the job about a month ago, interviewed on Tuesday, and they offered me the job today! I was pretty excited. This also means I get a free gym membership and free Melaleuca products each month! I know that this isn't the job I want to do for the rest of my life... Eventually I will go back and get my nursing degree but it is perfect for now. I won't have to take Grace to a day care since Bart will be home during the hours I have to work and it will be a little extra income for our little family.

I was excited and thought I'd share!

Picture and Post overload... but what do you do?

2009-02-28T17:33:00.001-07:00

I know I have posted lots of pictures lately and here is yet another post... full of pictures of the babe... but I just can't help it. I am a proud mommy and a firm believer that each and every day is a special gift. Don't forget to celebrate each day!

These are just a few pictures of Gracie in her adorable pink hat and a few with mommy. I love her so much. I am so very blessed! I have an amazing family, amazing in-laws, a wonderful, hard working husband, wonderful friends... I have knowledge and faith. I have the gift of each new day. I know my Heavenly Father exists and I KNOW that he loves us and watches over us.

I know some of this sounds quite cliche but I have just had my eyes opened lately. I really feel like each breath we take is a gift that God has given us. Life is so fragile and we take it for granted... I am so blessed.

Visit to Utah, Story time and snuggles....

2009-02-27T08:42:00.000-07:00

This is just a random post with some new pictures... A few weeks ago we took a trip to Utah and stopped at my Grandparents house and got some cute pictures of them with Grace. They are such cute people! My sweet grandma calls me or writes me a letter each week. We are so blessed to have them!!! We love them so much

After visiting them, we went to Ogden and spent some time with my family. It was so great to see them!!! I wish Erin and Jeff were there but hopefully we'll get to see them soon... We love you guys!

We also visited Bart's family but I didn't get any pictures! I will next time... Bart's mom got Grace this VERY cute dress a while ago and it finally fits her... Her bow is falling off in the pictures but it is still super cute....

These are pictures of story time with Grace. She loves being read to right before bed time. I love reading to her. She is such a sweet girl!

So, Grace isn't a very snugly baby most of the time but a few nights ago she was a little cuddle bug! I love it when she snuggles... its a rare opportunity! She is such a wiggly baby and loves to look around. Bart and I love her so much and have enjoyed every minute with her.

(I look pretty scary... with my bedhead hair! But Gracie is pretty cute...)

Grace is almost 4 months old!!!

2009-02-20T12:46:00.000-07:00

Poor cone head baby...
Her face was SO swollen!

On the Phone with my mom... Telling her that it will be soon.
I was so big...

I can't figure out how to get my pictures below my text for some reason.. and they are all out of order.. SORRY...

I can't believe that in a few short weeks Grace will be 4 months old... I just realized today, looking at my blog that I never even posted pictures of the day she was born! I know its way late but I still wanted to post some pictures of that awesome day. I was SO lucky to have family there. Erin was visiting from Las Vegas and got to be there to see Grace come into the world! I was SO SO grateful I had her before Erin had to leave. My parents and Katie and my mother-in-law, Karen were all so supportive and loving! And what a blessing it was for her to meet Grandpa Christoffersen. I am SO eternally grateful that Grace and Al's time on this earth overlapped... even if it was only for a short while...

New Pictures and an update!

2009-02-01T13:14:00.000-07:00

Idaho is treating us pretty well! Bart is really enjoying his job and I am having a blast being home with Gracie Poo and watching her grow! She is laughing and smiling more and more everyday. She is so much fun! She has started rolling back onto her back when we are doing tummy time, too!

Bart's mom, Karen and his sister, Jesse came up to have a super bowl party with us! It is SO great to see some familiar faces and to spend time with them. We missed KC though :(

Next week is KC's birthday so we are taking a trip to see the families next weekend. Friday well be going to see my grandma in Tremonton, then my family in Ogden (we will miss you Erin and Jeffy) and then to Salt Lake to be with Bart's family.

Well, to be honest... not much else is going on... Still not many friends here in Idaho but that will come with time (I hope)

We love you all!

Move successful! A little update!

2009-01-19T15:29:00.000-07:00

The move was successful and we are settled in Idaho Falls! We are really thankful to all of those who helped us out!!! We really really appreciate it!

Its a great little town and we are really loving our town home! We moved up on Wednesday and we had the rest of the week to unpack and get settled. It was really nice to have Bart home the rest of the week! He started his new job today so I'll let you all know how that goes after I talk to him tonight!!!

We are really happy up here so far. We miss our families so much but think about them often...

Grace's Blessing Day

2009-01-06T09:38:00.000-07:00

We blessed Grace this last Sunday and it was a BEAUTIFUL day. Bart's mom, Karen made Grace's blessing dress and it couldn't have been more perfect. THANK YOU!!! Bart did an AMAZING job on the blessing and the spirit was so strong there... I know Al was there with us.

About 5 minutes before sacrament meeting started Bart leaned over to me and said, " What do you think about giving Grace a middle name?"

If you know Bart, you know that he wanted NOTHING to do with giving Grace a middle name when she was born. Our last name is quite long and he didn't want her to have a huge long name when she got married. So we decided early on that she would not have a middle name. So this request was a little shocking to me.

He said what do you think about giving her the middle name of Ally, in memory of my dad (who's name is Al). Immediately I fell in love with it and agreed 100%. So it was quite a surprise to the ENTIRE family since no one knew we were even thinking about it. It was really cool.

So now our sweet, little girl is named GRACE ALLY CHRISTOFFERSEN. It was a beautiful day and I'm so grateful for the gospel and for forever families. What an amazing blessing that is. Thanks to everyone who came and brought the yummy food and helped out! And those who couldn't be with us... We love you so so much and missed you! You were with us in our thoughts that day!

Merry Christmas

2008-12-29T10:21:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone!

Here are some pictures from this month. As eventful and difficult as this month has been I truly feel that we had a wonderful Christmas. Jo Ann's (Bart's Aunt) Christmas Eve program was remarkable and I am so grateful for that message of hope. I felt the spirit so strong that night witnessing the truth of her inspired message.

I am so thankful for the gospel in our lives. Our Father in Heaven is SO mindful of us all and loves us more than we'll ever understand in this life. I am so grateful for the Christmas season to celebrate a most important event, the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ. I am so thankful for my Savior and his sacrifice on our behalf that enables us to be a forever family if we keep our covenants. I am so thankful for a remarkable family. Thank you all for being a part of our lives and being examples to us. We love you all so much!!!

To update you all on our lives... Bart got a Job offer in Idaho Falls and we are going to be moving the middle of January... Its all happening so fast! We are sad to leave family and wonderful friends behind but know that it is what the Lord wants us to do right now. It will be a great career opportunity for Bart and it will be good for our little family to grow closer together.

Little Gracie is growing so fast. She is so much fun and such a remarkable blessing to us. We are blessing her this coming Sunday! Time flies! We love you all so much. Thank you for your love and support during this time in our lives.

TAGGED

2008-12-16T18:41:00.001-07:00

Katie Lou Tagged me and this is the 4th picture in the 4 th folder on our computer! LOVE YOU KATE! This is a picture of me with my in-laws on a little trip to St.George last year!

In Loving Memory

2008-12-03T15:39:00.000-07:00

Al Christoffersen was one of the most amazing people I've ever met in my life. I am a better person for knowing him and I thank my Father in Heaven so much for letting me have the privilege of being his daughter in law.

Al was in a tragic accident on Monday, December 1st as he was driving to do his normal route in Tooele as a UPS driver. A dump truck was going the opposite direction, turned right in front of him and Al wasn't able to stop fast enough. Most of the impact was on the drivers side of the UPS truck and Al didn't make it.

There are no words to describe how deeply it hurts to loose such an amazing person. As much as it hurts we have faith that he is in a better place and is serving his Savior. Al was one of the strongest person I've met. He never complained, or had a bad word to say about anyone. He always saw the silver lining in everything. He was an amazing example to everyone who knew him. He had an AMAZING testimony of the gospel and of the Savior and he always served in such a way to make our Father in Heaven proud. So many people have mentioned how he changed their lives by being their faithful and loving home teacher.

I love him dearly and he will be horribly missed by everyone he left behind. I just wish my kids would have been able to know him and learn from him. His legacy will go on through us. I promise that Bart and I will teach our kids everything he would have wanted us to teach them... including how to golf. I am so beyond grateful that families can be together forever. We'll all be together again.

We love you and miss you so much Al.

There has been a memorial fund set up in his honor at America First Credit Union. Also, if you'd like to read more about what happened on Monday you can find the story on KSL.com

Grace is 4 weeks old!!!

2008-11-30T19:11:00.000-07:00

The weeks have flown by. I can't believe she's already 4 weeks old! We are all doing really well and we have so much to be grateful for. Thanksgiving was wonderful and gave us a wonderful opportunity to reflect on the many blessing Heavenly Father has given us. Here are some pictures from the last 4 crazy weeks of our lives! :)

New Mommy...

2008-11-20T14:05:00.000-07:00

Wow! Its almost been three weeks since our little Grace came into this world... I can't believe how fast its gone by! Being a new mom has been quite an amazing experience. It is very hard to be a new mom but I think we are finally getting the hang of it. The first few weeks were really hard for me and i actually ended up in the emergency room with stomach ulcers... Yikes. But we are past that now and things are looking up! Heavenly Father has blessed us SO much.

Grace is such a good baby and we are so grateful to have her in our lives! It's already weird to think about what life was like before she came into the world. We love her so much! We will post some new pictures of us all soon. I don't have Internet at home right now so I am afraid I wont be updating often until we get that taken care of! We are working on it! Thanks for all your wonderful comments and support!

Our Angel Baby is HERE!!!

2008-11-05T17:23:00.000-07:00

I don't have much time but I wanted to post a few pictures of our new beautiful baby! I was induced on Friday night at 7pm, they broke my water at 8:45pm and I started having some really strong contractions! By 10 I was dilated to 8cm! It was so fast. I pushed for two hours once I was fully dilated and the doctor said that her heart rate was becoming concerning so they put me on oxygen and had to use forceps to get her out.

At 1:56 on Saturday morning our precious little baby girl came into the world! What an amazing experience it has been. I have never been happier in my whole life. I am so blessed with an amazing husband that I love so much and a beautiful daughter. She weighed 8lbs and was 18 inches long and perfect in every way! We are so glad she is finally here!

These pictures were taken when Grace was 4 days old.

Bed Rest... and other updates.

2008-10-23T15:15:00.000-06:00

WOW! What a crazy week its been. Last Wednesday I had a routine OB appointment and when i went in they were worried about my blood pressure being a bit high. Then they found protein in my urine (bad sign!!) and my swelling was worse. The doctor was afraid I might be getting a condition called preclampsia... a scary pregnancy condition that can be very harmful to both the baby and the mother.

So that day they monitored the baby's heart for about a half hour to make sure everything looked ok... but during that time her heart rate dropped twice down to about 85. Their heart rate is supposed to stay between 120 and 150. Since she dropped so low the doctor thought either the umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck, or the amniotic fluid level was so low that she was sitting on the cord. So, he proceeded to do an ultrasound to measure the fluid levels around the baby.

Normal amniotic fluid levels are anywhere from 10cm - 26cm. Mine was 4.5 cm!! I was freaking out. That really scared us. So the doctor decided it would be best to draw a bunch of blood, do a 24 hour urine check, and monitor the baby closely... as well as put me on bed rest.

I saw the doctor about every other day last week so he could make sure she was doing ok and that my fluid levels were going up and my blood pressure was going down.

So, I have been on bed rest for the last 8 days. I wasn't aloud to clean, decorate or go ANYWHERE... Although it was pretty rough I made it, knowing that it would help our little baby girl! I went to the doctor this morning and he said bed rest was very effective. My blood results came back completely normal, my blood pressure and my swelling was back down and the amniotic fluid levels are up to about 9 or so. He also informed me that I am 100% effaced and dilated to about 3cm!!! He said both the baby and I are well enough that I don't need to be on bed rest anymore and he thinks I will go into labor within the next week!

We are SO grateful for prayer and for Heavenly Father watching over us! We are well and healthy and are very excited for the little one to be here. I'll have Bart post some pictures when she comes.

The Nursery!

2008-10-02T07:29:00.000-06:00

So, when we moved into this apartment we fixed it all up. We painted the entire thing, ripped out old flooring in the kitchen and bathroom, ripped out rotten floor that was underneath the linoleum and then put new flooring in. I was so excited to be able to paint the nursery whatever color I wanted to! Keep in mind I had never gone "paint shopping" or picked out colors and actually put them on a wall.

I wanted to do the nursery a pale apple green. So I found the color in the catalog that I really liked and bought the paint and went to town (with the help of lots of family... THANKS!) Well the apple green I fell in love with wasn't exactly the same color on a large scale. It is pretty BRIGHT and to be honest I hated it at first. But I didn't have the money, patience, strength or time to pick new paint and do it all over again so I thought I'd work with what I had... and I have actually grown to love it. It looks MUCH better with furniture and decor... however I think the pictures make it look even brighter and I am not much of a photographer... Unfortunately the nursery looks much better in real life than it does in the photos... they just don't do it justice! But at least it will give you some idea. I think I am finally done decorating I am just still trying to organize and find a place for everything but here are some pictures!

Balloon Hands! And other random updates...

2008-10-01T08:37:00.000-06:00

I have been very blessed to have a healthy pregnancy and for that I am so grateful! However, the last few weeks I have been retaining water like CRAZY in my poor hands... My feet and ankles get swollen sometimes but nothing like my hands do. My entire hand will go numb at least 7 times during the night and when I wake up my joints ache and it feels like pins and needles for a while... Not fun.

During the day it is not nearly as bad... my fingertips just experience the pins and needles feeling for most of the day. They only go numb when I get ready in the morning and if I have to write or type for long periods of time. I drop a number of things during the day and sometimes I feel like I have useless bulbous appendages on the ends of my arms.

So, yesterday morning me and my good friend Nicole decided to go for a nice walk before it got too warm. Around 8am we set off to enjoy the BEAUTIFUL fall morning. And beautiful it was! We ended up walking about 4 miles and the walk was wonderful...but by the time we got back home my hands had ballooned up to about 4 times their normal size... they were HUGE! I wish I had a picture of them to show you... They were almost white they were so bloated. I had a very hard time unlocking and opening my door since the dexterity in my bulging hands was gone!

I took a picture with my cell phone and sent it to my mom... Her response was, "WHO'S HAND IS THAT!?! WHAT HAPPENED!?" It seriously looked like a huge man hand that was inflamed and swelling in response to some horrific injury. I had to soak them in cold water for a while and hold them above my head before the swelling went down!

Its crazy the things that happen while you're pregnant! I'm so glad that skin is so adept and that it can stretch like it does or else my hands would have popped!!! :)

A little update... I am 35 weeks along TODAY! We're counting down the days! Bart is still working his little butt off as he takes on full time work AND full time school... I am thankful for his hard work for our family!

He is going to a career fair today to get his name out there and see what opportunities may be open to him when he graduates in December... wish us luck! Other than that there isn't much else going on...

I work and on my days off I try to cook, do laundry, and try to keep a tidy home. I have been pretty anti-social as of late because I just want to relax and be with Bart when he isn't at school, work or doing homework... Not to mention I am getting pretty big and don't feel like leaving the house for social affairs. Our weekends are filled with walks, sitting around with our feet up, watching Presidential debates and the new season of the Office.. both of which we recorded at Bart's parents house since we don't have TV channels at our house! I am so grateful for wonderful in-laws that let us mooch sometimes!

We'll keep you updated...

Erin was able to get this picture that i sent to her... of my balloon hand.

Baby Showers...

2008-09-14T16:53:00.000-06:00

The last two weeks have been great fun! Last weekend my Mom, Grandma, and little sissy threw me a baby shower in Ogden. My heart broke a little, wishing that Erin could be there ( MISS YOU VERY MUCH) but she is in Las Vegas and working hard there! We missed her lots and she was in our thoughts. I had an evil plan of kidnapping her and making her stay with me until little Gracie comes ;)

Thanks Mom and Grandma for making all of the amazing food, for the cute decorations (LOVED THE FRUIT BOUQUET, MOM) and for taking the time. I know it was lots of work but I really appreciated it! We had lots of people come and I was grateful for their generosity. Babies need lots of stuff and we got some great things we desperately needed.

Yesterday, my mother-in-law and Bart's sister (THANKS SO MUCH) threw me a baby shower with their family and with friends from Salt Lake. Its really such a blessing to have such great friends who have had babies of their own and who know what a new mom needs. THANKS SO MUCH!

I posted a few pictures from each shower. I may not be recognizable with the cute pregnant cheeks that I've recently adopted! But the belly should give me away. :) There is even a picture in there with my ridiculously good looking husband! We are getting closer and closer each day! I am excited to meet our baby girl in the near future...

The wrath of the pregnant woman...

2008-08-27T10:30:00.000-06:00

So, pregnancy is a beautiful thing... It really really is. But there are some "ugly" things that come with it. Today, I was working at the hospital when on of my elderly male patients says to me,

"So, your getting really close aren't you?"

I look at him, knowing exactly what he means as he stares at my bulging belly and say, in an innocent, unknowning voice, "What do you mean I am close?" All the while I am thinking to myself.. NO you jerk! I have 10 long weeks left! Don't just assume that I am close... (This is how the pregnant woman's mind works at times, irrational and rash. I think they call it pregnancy terrets).

Hey says, "...Uh... To delivering. Your close, right?"

The words came out of my mouth before I could even think about what I was saying with unthinking boldness and haste, "Nope! No, I'm not close to delivering."

He looked at me, startled at my response and immediately I felt remorseful for letting the words slip out of my mouth in such a sharp way. I tried to recover by telling him that I had about 2 months left and that I am due October 30th... He seemed to be forgiving and we moved on to a different conversation. Thankfully....

This is just a small example of the little things that have happened while I've been pregnant that were unexpected to say the least :)

Pregnancy has is "stages". In the beginning we were just joyful and full of excitement and anticipation! We got the positive pregnancy test and were ecstatic with the news.. Then at about 6 weeks the nausea set in. Morning sickness was very hard to deal with. I couldn't eat a single thing without throwing it up within 20 minutes or so... not to mention I coulndn't even walk past my kitchen without gaging. Thank goodness the doc gave me some miracle medication that aloud me to be functional again.

Once that was under control and I started showing.. the excitement started to set in again. Knowing that there was a sweet baby growing in there! A tiny human being! It's been an amazing ride emotionally, spiritually, physically etc. And I am truely grateful for the amazing experiance. It has been the coolest thing to feel her kicking and to have Bart feel her kicking too!

I have been, in my opinion, a rather relaxed and laid back pregnant woman... I generally dont mind if people touch my belly, make silly comments etc...However, there are some things I didn't expect that have been a bit hard to deal with. Such as my butt being pregnant right along with my tummy :) Didn't see that one coming!!! Also, when my tummy started getting to the point that it wasn't a question about me being pregnant people just start making the most surprising and sometimes uncalled for comments... I will give you an example of a few.

Some of the light-hearted, funny ones are things like:

"WHOA!! Are you going bowling today?" or "WHOA! Are you carrying a basketball in there!?" There is always the classic, "Did you swallow a watermelon seed?!"

But then people start saying things like, "HOLY CRAP! You are only 30 weeks along? You are going to be SOOO FREAKING HUGE! You are going to be sooo uncomforable and sooo miserable and HUGHEDY FREAKING HUGE! Your going to be as big as a building! You aren't going to be able to walk because you'll be soooo big!" (I hate that one... It is one thing for people to kindly tell you how hard the last few months of THEIR pregnancy was when they were very pregnant and uncomfortable just to warn you. Afterall isn't every woman uncomforable during the last few weeks? But when they say it like you are going to be as big as the state of Utah its another thing).

It has been funny to look back at things people have said and just mentally prepare myself because I am only going to get bigger before I get smaller!

Grace has been moving lots lately and its really fun to be reminded that I don't just have a huge tummy tumor... but to remember that there is a life inside of me. Its a very cool thing! We are getting really anxious for her to be here. I really have been so blessed to have had such a healthy pregnancy with no complications. I pray it continues this way!

Thanks for letting me vent a bit :)

Just a thought for the day...

2008-08-21T10:27:00.000-06:00

"To get something you never had, you have to do something you've never done" When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better.”

'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.'

Lots of fun this August!

2008-08-18T11:59:00.000-06:00

We have had lots of fun this August. Bart is out of school for the month and so we thought we would play while we could! Not to mention we'll be adding a baby to the mix. So we thought we should do lots of fun things this month before things get too crazy. The first weekend in August we went to St. George and saw Les Miserables at the Tuachan out door theatre. It was beautiful down there. They start the play at twilight and they did an amazing job!

Thursday the 14th, Bart and I were able to go see Brian Regan at Thanksgiving Point with Bart's family. It was lots of fun! Bart's mom bought tickets for everyone for Bart's dad's birthday. He was just as funny as always! We laughed really hard. The ampitheatre was PACKED!

This last weekend we were able to go to the Homestead up in Midway, Utah with Bart's company. The owner of Packsize, the company Bart works for, won the Ernst & Young Entrepreneur of the year award in their category. So in celebration, they took all thier employee's and their spouses up there for a nice dinner, a night stay and golf the next morning! It was lots of fun. It was much cooler up there and the Homestead is a beautiful place. I got some good golfing pictures so I will post them soon!

Tag... I'm it!

2008-08-13T12:07:00.000-06:00

I've been tagged.So here's the deal: Post these rules on your blog. List: 3 joys, 3 fears, 3 goals, 3 current obsessions/collections, 3 facts about yourself. Tag 5 people at the end of your post by leaving their names. Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog!

JOYS 1. spending time with family

2. reading (i'm just finishing breaking dawn)

3. feeling our baby girl move inside of me

FEARS 1. being alone during life (without everyone I love)

2. somthing going wrong with pregnancy

3. letting fear hold me back from doing things I want to do

GOALS 1. to be a good mommy and wife

2. to finish nursing school

3. do a triathalon

CURRENT

OBSESSIONS

/COLLECTIONS 1. reading

2. cooking and trying out lots of new recepies

3. currently I seem to be collecting a lot of cute baby stuff!

FACTS 1. Bart is a really great hubby (and I love him)

2. We love watching the office

3. I can't wait for Fall to be here!!

Our new apartment!

2008-07-21T19:34:00.001-06:00

We still have ladders, paint brushes and boxes that I tried to avoid gettin into the pictures but I couldn't avoid all of it! It is starting to feel more like home as we get things settled in. We love the new area. Its really quiet and peaceful. We have awesome neighbors.

We are so blessed. I thank Heavenly Father each day for how blessed we are. Now we just need one more addition to our home... our baby girl! I will post pictures of her nursery once it is decorated. It is just the junk room right now for things we are still organizing so those pictures will come later.

Ok... Finally... Some pictures!

2008-07-21T19:30:00.001-06:00

I had Bart snap these really quick so I could have some pictures of my growing belly on our blog! Its getting big :) I tell myself it means she's a strong and healthy girl! She is kicking up a storm now and is really packing a punch!

MEMORIES

2008-07-14T08:25:00.000-06:00

MEMORIES

I found this on my sister's blog and thought it would be fun to try.Here's how it goes:

1. As a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and I or you and Bart have had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember!

2. Next (if you choose to), re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It's actually pretty funny to see the responses. If you leave a memory about me, I'll assume you're playing the game and I'll come to your blog and leave one about you. If you don't want to play on your blog, or if you don't have a blog, I'll leave my memory of you in my comments.

Moving....

2008-07-14T08:13:00.000-06:00

Wow! Bart and I finally moved into our new apartment! We have been working on it since the beginning of June and have finally finished and moved in! It was a good experience for us to work so hard on something together but I am glad it is over. We painted each room, replaced the kitchen and bathroom floors, fixed the rotten floor under the dishwasher and washer/drier, cleaned the carpets and replaced the dish washer as well as the washer...

It was lots of hard work in this HOT summer but it was well worth it. Bart is such a good hubby! He is working so hard this summer. He goes to school full time, works full time, helps out a pregnant wife and then put in many hours at this new apartment. I really appreciate him and all his hard work! He deserves a week off in Hawaii! I am so blessed to have him! He is such a hard worker...

I will post pictures of it once we get some things put way and boxes moved out. It is really hard for me to post pictures because they all end up on Bart's lap top and we don't have Internet at our apartment! But as soon as I get things cleaned up I will just borrow his lap top for the day and post some pictures.

My Belly...

2008-07-04T19:03:00.000-06:00

Pregnancy is a wonderful/crazy/physically stressful thing! Bart and I are really excited to have little Grace in a few more months! Here are some pictures of my crazy growing belly... My belly button is already starting to poke out! I still have 4 months to go! I will post pictures here soon...

Have Hope! Faith... not fear.

2008-07-02T09:50:00.000-06:00

I know we all go through hard times... I am not particularly going through a hard time in my life... I feel very blessed and loved but we all have those days when we've had enough. The other day I picked up a book by Elder Jeffery Holland called, "However Long and Hard the Road."

It has really helped me to put things into perspective. It helped me remember not to pray for my circumstances to be changed.. BUT for the strength and help from the heavens to do my very best in the circumstances I have been given. I just wanted to share a little thought from this book.

Elder Holland says, "In the gospel of Jesus Christ we have help from both sides of the veil. When disappointment and discouragement strike - and they will - we need to remember that if our eyes could be opened, we would see horses and chariots of FIRE as far as the eye can see, riding at great speed to come to our protection. They will ALWAYS be there..."

We can be anything we want to be with the Lords help. Life isn't easy... that will never change but we have Him on our side! :)

A little bit about us...

2008-06-13T15:09:00.000-06:00

I can't believe how fast life goes by. Each birthday seems closer together, each Christmas, each summer... It felt like just moments ago I was living at home with 2 amazing sisters and 2 crazy-fun brothers, playing pranks on one another or coming up with some random, crazy thing to do (like slide down the stairs with cardboard boxes).

With memories like that so close to the surface it is hard to believe that I haven't lived at home for four years now! So much has happened since then like living in 5 different apartments, going to school, getting my associates degree and getting married!

Bart and I have been happily married for one and a half years now. We met in May of 2006 (blind date) and were engaged in August 2006... Then we were married on December 16, 2006. Our first year of marriage was so much fun. Lots of learning curves and things we laugh at now.

I graduated with my associates degree last year and am currently working for LDS Hospital in the Hyperbaric Department as a Certified Hyperbaric Technologist. I have been with them for three and a half years now!

Bart is working as an office manager with a small company named "Packsize." He will graduate from school with his bachelors in communication and business in December. Yay!

We are also expecting our first little baby! We just found out last week that it is a girl :) Little Grace is due on November 5th! We can't wait!